#sometimes i forget shes literally barely three years old

[constantly-contrary]

yk what. HELL YEAH

Constance Contraire

[rorywritesjunk]

I felt the need to elaborate on Buggy as the Ultimate Girl Dad, because I am loving every Buggy as a Dad fic I've come across and decided to add into it. It's a mix of head canons and fic of all eight daughters and when they were born. Also can be read as anime Buggy or OPLA Buggy!

Rating: PG-13 because innuendos. Warnings: Childbirth, mentions of a difficult labor. A/N: I had a lot of fun just thinking up names for all eight daughters.

Buggy’s Eight Daughters

The first daughter, Lil Buggy (Lil or LB for short) is a clone of her dad in looks and personality. The first to inherit his nose (much to his distress) and the first one to really experience ship life. When she was two weeks old, Buggy bound her to his body while climbing up to the crow’s nest of his ship so he could show her the views of the sea. You nearly killed him for that. And while Buggy wanted to name her Buggy Junior, or BJ for short, you killed that idea immediately. 

“I don’t want BJ for her nickname. People may make fun of her!” You said as Buggy walked around your room with the newborn, keeping her close to him as he gazed down at her. 

“But come on, that’s what started that night we had when she was conci-” He looked up with a smirk and you resisted throwing a pillow at him. Not while he was holding the baby.

“Buggy!”

Mae was the second daughter. She was born with a full head of bright blue hair and your nose. Unlike her older sister, she was a bit easier. She was born when LB was about to turn 2, and well, older sister wasn’t too sure how to feel about a new baby joining the family. Surprisingly, Buggy noticed his daughter having more tantrums and generally being a terror since she wasn’t getting all of her parents’ attention, so he took to carrying her on his back while Mae would be strapped on his front, being the Ultimate Pirate Dad. He just had to remember LB was on his back when he sat down (which he sometimes did forget she was there because she often fell asleep back there).

“Oof, daddy!” A tiny voice squealed from behind him. It took Buggy a moment to realize LB was on his back again, so he jumped up from his seat and turned his head around to look at her.

“What are you doing back there?!” He asked, always sounding surprised. She fixed him with a glare that was so like his own it was a little terrifying. He got her off his back and sat back down in his seat, holding her into his lap while he turned his head back around to face his crew.

Cherry and Apple were next. Buggy wasn’t there when they were born. He was off dealing with the Strawhats, and while you never chose a name for the babies until a few days later, you took one look at them and decided on the names. Just like their oldest sister, the two of them had Buggy’s nose, and well, you thought the names would be as cute as their bright red noses. Cherry was the more daring of the two. Buggy literally had to keep one hand ready to grab her in case she decided to go overboard or climb up ropes on the ship. Apple was a little more cautious, choosing to stick near you more often than not. While Cherry was happy to join her father with the circus shows, Apple stayed off to the sides to watch.

“You named them what?” Buggy asked as he held newborn Apple in his arms. “Why?!”

“The names just popped in my head, Buggy!” You insisted as you cradled Cherry against your bare skin. “Besides, the names are perfect for them! Look at their little noses, like bright red apples and cherries!”

Buggy wasn’t sure how he felt about you comparing the inherited nose to fruit, but he wasn’t about to argue with a woman who’d already birthed four children, three of which had that same nose. 

Another set of twins came a year and a half later. Buggy decided having a midwife on board may be ideal since he couldn’t seem to stop getting you pregnant (not that you were complaining, it was split 50/50 who initiated these things). He was there this time. Lil Buggy and Mae helped with the names for their sisters. When you and Buggy sat the four girls down to tell them about having another sibling, Lil Buggy had pointed out the rainbow in the distance and Mae asked if that would be the new baby’s name. Buggy looked like would cry at that. 

“Wait, twins, again?!” Buggy exclaimed as he was handed the first baby. “We were expecting just one!”

“Sometimes the other one stays a secret, Captain.” The midwife replied calmly as she helped with the next one. “Better start thinking of a second name.”

Yea, right. When Cabaji let the four girls into the room once you were ready, Mae and Lil Buggy looked at the two twin girls before looking up at their parents.

“Rain and Bow!” Both insisted. You were too tired to disagree and Buggy was still in shock, especially since they had his nose again. He was wondering if he needed to propose marriage to you for birthing six kids already.

Buggy indeed proposed to you. It was flashy, with cannons, fire, and all six daughters running around with sparklers. You said yes because while you loved the flashy fool, you also wanted to douse the sparklers before something caught fire. 

Six daughters already. When Lil Buggy was 10, Mae was 8, Apple and Cherry 6, and Rain and Bow not quite 4, you announced one night at dinner that you were, again, pregnant. The reactions were as such:

“That explains a lot.” Buggy grumbled as he looked down at his plate. You glared at him and he followed with, “Explains why you have a radiant glow about you, my love!”

“Again?!” Lil Buggy exclaimed. “Can you two stop? There’s no more room!”

“Why?” Mae asked. “Why do you want more kids?”

“Where do babies come from?” Apple asked, looking at Buggy. He was not ready for this conversation.

“We picked you and Cherry out of a treasure chest, just like your sisters and just like this baby.” Buggy said quickly. “That’s how we get babies. From treasure chests.”

“Oh.” Apple seemed fine with that response but Cherry looked confused. 

“Why does mama get fat then?” She asked innocently. Buggy was about to say something but one look from you silenced him.

“Oh my God.” He whined. “Another one?”

Rain and Bow just kept eating while Buggy questioned his life choices in that moment and you looked ready to throw him overboard.

Inheriting his nose stopped with Rain and Bow, but his hair followed his daughters. When you gave birth to the 7th daughter, the family had been carving pumpkins as a fun activity. While some parents would worry about their children holding knives, you were more concerned about your husband with one. You decided to get up and grab some bandages from the midwife when it happened. She took one look at you, sighed, and led you to your room to help you give birth. It happened so quick that Buggy came to look for you after about a half hour and found you with a newborn in your arms.

“How! What?!” His jaw dropped seeing the baby in your arms. You just shrugged as you looked down at the newborn.

“Can we name her Pumpkin?” You asked. “I think it would be a fun story to tell, you know, what we were doing when she was born.”

Buggy wasn’t going to disagree with you.

The eighth and final daughter was born during a storm. Giving birth on the ship while waves crashed along it was not ideal. The other seven girls were hunkered in the room with you while you gave birth. Buggy was holding you while you screamed, threatening to kill him after you were done. This was, by far, the most difficult birth of the girls. Lil Buggy and Mae did what they could to entertain the other girls, hoping to get their attention away from your screams and cries while the ship rocked violently. Hours passed until they heard the cries of a newborn. The storm seemed to pass as well, and Buggy was crying as he held his newest daughter.

Lil Buggy, being the eldest, approached first to look. She saw the blue hair and sighed. “You won’t be able to tell us apart if you saw us all from behind, you know.”

“Yea, well, I’ll learn to tell you brats apart.” Buggy shot back. You were resting, having been given something by the midwife to help you sleep. The labor had been a rough one, and you were going to need your strength to keep up with the family.

“What’s this one gonna be called?” LB asked as she gestured for her sisters to come over. “I think mom needs to stop naming us, she’s getting silly with them.”

“What should we name her?” Buggy asked his eldest, his attention on the sleeping bundle in his arms. He glanced up at her. “I’m asking you.”

LB looked taken aback and scratched her head. “Um… why not… Crash?” 

“Crash?” Buggy repeated. He was about to comment that that was silly, but considering what the last few hours were like, he was glad she didn’t go with a weather related name. “Y’know, I think Crash is appropriate.”

Buggy decided as a Rite of Passage for Piracy, his girls would join him in a raid when they turned 14. You knew it was something of importance for him, and you trusted he wouldn’t get them hurt. They could protect themselves as well, and by the time Crash turned 14, each girl had their chance. Buggy deemed them all official crew members when they returned from each raid and always held a party for them. With Crash being the last one to go through with it, Buggy couldn’t help but feel a little sad his girls were all growing up. He wouldn’t get to do those fun “Firsts” again like he had with the others. He would never admit to anyone but you, but he liked being a dad.

A few months after Crash’s raid, and the girls were readying for another fun day of piracy, you pulled your husband aside for a brief meeting.

“Babe, if you want me, just ask. We don’t have to sneak around.” Buggy teased as his hands went to your waist, a big grin on his face. You put both hands on his cheeks and tilted his head down so you could look him in the eyes.

“Sneaking around is what caused this, Buggy.” You told him. “I’m pregnant.”

The scream from the clown was heard all over the ship and no doubt all around the seas.

[leonawriter]

Y'know how I go on and on about how the movies are canon and I wouldn't be surprised if "Toichi and Yusaku are brothers" was in Gosho's notes from back when he first started coming up with ideas for Detective Conan when he was still writing Magic Kaito?

Funnily enough, there are a few things Gosho's done that would be just as happy (if not more so) if we could turn back the clock on them and tell him "you do not have to do that, actually." Weirdly, most of them are to do with the Magic Kaito side of things.

One: I... actually kind of liked when Kuroba Chikage was just a normal lady who was bringing up her son and she maybe knew about the fact that the house was full of magician's tricks but she loved her husband and oh dear, there always comes a time when the dove has grown up and needs to fly, there goes Kaito, isn't he looking good in white?

Basically the series has so many characters who are just "amazing, outstanding in their field" and/or "never home" that it would have been nice if Chikage had just... been a stay at home mom purely to be Kaito's support. But since Gosho came up with Phantom Lady, and since she spends so much time in Vegas, Kaito... doesn't have that from her. She's absent now.

Two: Toichi has been hinted at being alive since ch31-33/the Kaitou Corbeau heist, and... at the time I might have thought it was cool, but to be honest I've not held any desire or hope there the way I have for other things. The idea of Toichi as a ghost haunting the narrative (literally or figuratively) is much more compelling to me than that of him having left his family, faked his death, and then... encouraged his sixteen year old son to take up his mantle.

Toichi can (with all due respect) stay dead and the narrative is still good. As a dead dad, he's not a bad dad. He's just dead. The moment he's alive, he brings in all of these complications of "where were you" and "what were you doing" and all these messy emotions that Gosho's not been writing enough MK in order to address.

Three: Sometimes I think the addition of Nakamori Midoriko is a good one, and she's a fun character. Sometimes... I feel like I and the narrative could forget her easily, and nothing would change. If anything, that would make it better, because with Midoriko the Nakamoris feel distant, always missing each other, and barely talking.

Without her, there's the ability for Ginzo and Aoko to talk and to have a sense of bonding together. In a strange sense, if Midoriko were either actually separated from Ginzo and they're civil but don't talk (unlike Ran's parents, who do talk but aren't civil) or if she'd passed away years prior, there'd be a stronger and heavier sense of Ginzo being Aoko's only support and vice versa, making it have more weight when he can't make it to something she wants him to be there for, or if he forgets her birthday party.

I've seen in a few fics the idea of Kaito and Aoko bonding over Kaito having lost his father and Aoko having lost her mother, so it feels like they're even. When Kaito only has his mother (and later on, she starts travelling) and Aoko has... both parents... even if they work odd hours, it... makes it oddly uneven and unequal.

tl;dr?

Sometimes, by trying to involve characters, fill in gaps, or make a situation (often with a woman) more progressive, Gosho actually makes things more complicated in an unnecessary way, and it doesn't always actually work.

[thesilliestofgals]

Awhile back, I was discussing with @feline17ff about the idea of an EAH reboot, but as the story progresses, it's revealed that the original EAH universe still exists, and then we find out that something has... changed within the original. I decided to reiterate the outline/original idea here.

Feel free to reblog, send in questions, and/or add your own ideas :)

Without further ado, let's open the Storybook once more...

“…As for Ever After High, these Fairytales are closing the book for now, but you will never know when it will open again!” - Mattel via Twitter, August 29th, 2018

Sometime after the “end”, aka after Epic Winter, the story goes.. stale. The Narrators grow bored- perhaps there was just too many plot holes, too many shallow characters… whatever the reason, they all leave, one by one, until Brooke is left. It puts a great strain on her to narrate everything all at once, and even when Maddie tries to ease the burden, it’s too late- Brooke’s parents forcefully take her away, claiming there’s no point. 

Everything hits the fan after that. 

Do you know what happens to paper, when met with time, temperature, and relative humidity changes? It deteriorates. The color shifts from a pearly white to a sickly yellow, the words become faded and illegible, the material becomes ripped and curled… that what happens figuratively and literally to the realm of Ever After… and it’s inhabitants. 

It’s slow, at first. People start getting… confused. Forgetting something trivial, repeating something they already said… but it starts progressing quickly. People start repeating events from years ago, getting more confused, disoriented, irritable…

People stop leaving their rooms altogether by the time they and the realm enter the final stage. When Brooke and her parents return after she convinces them, they are greeted by a horrible sight: a realm, composed of old, ripping, yellowing paper, and the inhabitants… warped into monstrous Papier-mâché and/or origami-esque creatures. 

Only three are immune- Giles, Milton, and Maddie. Brooke’s parents break their own rules to get into contact with these three, giving them a chance to escape. Giles and Maddie refuse. 

Milton barely looks back as he leaves. 

What happens next..? I like to think that the Narrators (and Milton) just… make a new Ever After; a completely different universe. The original universe is left to rot. Or, maybe Giles and Maddie find a way to keep the realm functioning. 

Regardless, the realms would probably meet somehow, and perhaps the rebooted characters can help get the original ones back to normal. Brooke can reunite with her Maddie, Milton and the narrators can face punishment, etc. 

[thatoneerin]

FINALLY GOT SOMETHING DONE FOR MY ALERUDY HC (I refuse to call it an au because ITS REAL TO ME >:’( )

Anyway, enjoy my little characterization/head-canon thing I did for the Vargas-Parra fam 😌

Maria - 7

soft spoken - shy around new people - brutally honest - creative - funny - intelligent - clever - jealous 

super into motorcycles, much to her papa’s pleasure (he’s got like, 3)

closer to Rodolfo than she is with Alejandro. they’re still close, y’know, but if she needs comfort, she’s going to Rudy

will often blurt out whatever she’s thinking about a situation. It’s usually not anything too bad, but there have been couple of times where Ale n Rudy have had to pull her aside and be like “dude, you can’t just say that shit”

her favorite superhero is Wonder Woman and will, at the drop of a pen, go on a tangent on how cool she is if anyone even mentions superheroes

doesn’t cling onto her dads as often as Sophie does, but if she notices they’ve been paying more attention to Sophie (or literally any other kid) that day, she’ll grab their hand then stare daggers at the offending “attention hogger”

Sophie - 5

outgoing - loud - mischievous - confident - creative - athletic - curious - stubborn - forgetful 

obsessed with mangoes? for some reason?? has eaten some every day for the past like, year, and it's healthy so Alejandro and Rudy are just like “lol, okay I guess??” (she’s neurodivergent, it’s a comfort food)

glitter.. everywhere.. Ale and Rudy don’t even know where it comes from cause they’re smart enough to have never bought any, but she’ll just have glitter all over her hands or where ever else on her body (this doesn’t really change as she gets older, but instead of glitter, it’s paint and marker)

is equally close with both of her dads, honestly just clings onto the one closest to her at. all. times. if she’s not distracted with her sister or something else. which, honestly, is pretty often because she’s pretty easily distracted (lol same kid)

LOVES big animals, especially since she’s being raised around cows and horses. Loves doing chores out on the ranch with Alejandro.

Rodolfo aka Papa

nurturing - witty - ambitious - funny - thoughtful - passionate - fearless - protective - overthinker 

Is just Snow White. He can and will pick up any animal/bug with his bare hands and never ends up getting hurt from it. Constantly freaks out the girls (and to an extent, Alejandro) when he shows up to them with a big ass spider in his hands

FANTASTIC singing voice. Will sing the girls to sleep when they’re having especially rough nights

Can cook, he just prefers to bake 

Has tattoos of Maria and Sophie’s newborn baby handprints wrapping around his thumbs

Had to learn early on that he couldn’t hover over the babies all the time, that they would get hurt sometimes and that’s okay

Went to his mama and sister A LOT for help (his sister had already had three kids by the time Rudy had his first) ((not actually HAD, they had a surrogate))

VERY dry and sarcastic humor, and is quick to think of something funny to say. Maria slowly picks up on it, sometimes saying stuff out of the blue that makes Ale and Rudy do a double take, leading Alejandro to say “I see where she gets her humor from” with a shit eating grin on his face.

Becomes a part time pet Veterinarian after getting honorably discharged from the military. He’d always been interested in being a Vet (haha), but, y’know. He kinda followed Alejandro into the military and stayed there for a good 15 years, so-

Alejandro aka Papi/Dad

bold - impulsive - funny - short temper - adventurous - encouraging - loud - stubborn 

Is mainly the one who plays with the girls since he’s the one that’s home with them most of the time (he works from home. what does he do? great question, i haven't figured that out yet)

Has literally had to stop himself from really arguing with his daughters (mainly Sophie) multiple times because he’ll just stop and be like “I’m arguing with a 5 year old, what the hell am I doing??”

Has a terrible temper, but has NEVER raised his voice at his girls. He learned how to control it to the point where he’ll be able to calm himself down enough to not yell, but will still have Rudy be the one that scolds the girls most times, just in case. He never, ever wants his girls to be scared of him. He still makes sure to redirect his girls when needed, he just doesn’t do it when he’s mad

VERY early bird, Like, 6am early. Goes for runs in the morning then gets back in time to cook breakfast before anyone else is even up. There have been a few times where he’s caught Mariana up super early as well, playing in the living room by herself. He then usually sits with her for a while before making breakfast

Kind of a workaholic. It’s gotten better since he got out of the military, but if he’s got something to do that pertains to work, you best believe he’s sitting his ass down and not doing anything else until that thing is done

Gets WAY into sports (football/soccer, *COUGH*), he’s one of those dads. Only times the girls will hear both of their dads yell is at sports games (Sophie joins in on it when she gets older and gets more into sports, Maria thinks they’re all crazy)

Picks up woodcarving after leaving the military, actually made a few of the girl’s toys that they end up keeping as they get older

Is the one that cooks the most (also ties in with the fact that he’s the one at home the most)

CLUMSY AS SHIT. Will trip over his own feet constantly, always making the girls (and to extension, Rudy) laugh their asses off at it

[llamasgotoheaven]

Listen, I love Atlantis: The Lost Empire as much as the next guy person woman kreacher, but the biggest plot hole in that movie is so typically white savior complex.

You expect me to believe that out of all these people who are sometimes like 8000+ years old and trapped in the same city all this time wouldn’t have figured out how to read their OWN WRITING ? How’d they forget it in the first place? Did they all get hit in the head with a rock when their city sank?

U want me to believe a bunch of people of color trapped under the sea for literal millennia really didn’t have any spare time to decode their own fucking writing systems… Which are literally written on parts of their very city

And they need a white American man to show them…… How to read their own ancient script………..

😷 Disney u really lost me with this one

So this condescending narrative about the natives not only makes Milo super important to Kida… It has him governing the city because she’s got the hots for his skinny bespectacled ass

She’s 8800 yrs old at least and she wants the barely three decades old twink who’s never been outside a classroom which is honestly valid

while also being a problematic power dynamic

Kida’s kind of a pedophile for that idk y’all

[secondhnd]

if you’re hearing PRIMADONNA by MARINA playing, you have to know FLETCHER COOPER (SHE/THEY; CIS FEMALE ) is near by! the 26 year old PHD STUDENT / EMPLOYEE AT MAIN SQUEEZE has been in denver for, like, TWENTY SIX YEARS. they’re known to be quite SPOILED, but being TAKE-CHARGE seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that they resemble ELLA PURNELL. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those LIP GLOSS APPLIED AT INAPPROPRIATE TIMES, TOO MANY EMOJIS IN A TEXT MESSAGE, A COLLECTION OF GREETING CARDS SAVED THROUGH YOUR WHOLE LIFE vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around the WASHINGTON PARK DISTRICT long enough!

born to a recently married couple, fletcher is the oldest of three - and she never lets her siblings forget that. she's the oldest so that means that she's in charge. now, does that mean that sometimes she's arguing with a middle schooler as a grown woman? okay, and??? AND???

there hasn't been a moment in her life that fletcher has gone without anything she wanted. a quick bat of her eyes and her dad would cave. this isn't something that has changed as she's gotten older. who do you think is footing her tuition bill, her rent, and the payment on her car?

she works at main squeeze and hates it, but it's the one condition benjamin has on supporting her. she does the bare minimum. minimum wage, minimum effort!! (her coworkers aren't exactly her biggest fans)

the main reason she's stayed within academia as long as she has at this point is because she thinks that it's easy. she's going after her doctorate in gender and sexuality studies. she doesn't know what she wants to do with it.

she knows what she doesn't want to do. she is not becoming a teacher like her father. no way in hell. she's heard too many horror stories for the positive ones to make any real impact.

in her spare time, she likes to go to the dump and find things that she can transform into sculptures so hello strong people <3 please come with her

MORE TBD &lt;3

wanted connections!!!

friends...... she's definitely a social person and likes to surround herself with a lot of people

PEOPLE SHE'S PISSED OFF!! she can be fairly naive and ignorant to the privilege that she has in her life and she doesn't realize that not everyone has the chances she has

hookups, failed relationships, a relationship they're clinging to that should be over by now, literally anything along that front

[laurenscharhagwrites]

I’m pleased to share that the May issue of Aphelion is up. It includes my poem, “Little Brown Changeling,” which is about our dearly departed Otter, who we miss so much. Thank you to editor Dan Hollifield and the rest of the Aphelion team.

Little Brown Changeling for Otter

I found a tiny creature in the vacant lot beside an abandoned hotel. I thought it was a kitten.  It was kitten-shaped and mewing. I searched the dry July weeds for a mother cat or littermates

but found none. The creature was all alone, so I took it home. Having no money for a veterinarian, I asked a farmer friend with a colony of barn cats to come have a look. She agreed that it was, indeed,

kitten-shaped. No mites, no fleas, just a little brown bag of bones, barely three weeks old, fur brittle and falling out from lack of nutrition. I know now that she should have been bottle-fed. I know now that I did

literally everything wrong. All I had to feed her was dry kibble. I wetted it down to soften it for her milk teeth. She gobbled it all up and wanted more. When I could afford a vet, he agreed that she was definitely

kitten-shaped, and we scheduled an appointment to get her spayed. When she peed under my bed, I asked her not to do it again. She listened very seriously, nodded, and honored my wishes. Then, when I gave her

her first bath in the sink, her paws grew webbed and powerful, her fur grew sleek, her pipe cleaner tail thickened into one more suitable for aquatic propulsion, and just like that, she was a baby otter. We had all suspected she wasn't really a cat,

or if she was a cat, she was an absolutely singular feline. The other cats made it clear she was not of their ilk, and I will never forget how joyfully she splashed and frolicked in the water. For a time, her favorite form was a bat.

Around and around the apartment she sailed on brown wings, whipping around corners to startle us, tiny fangs glistening as she laughed. She never grew very big, five pounds for most of her life, but despite my meager ministrations,

our little foundling thrived, her fur becoming burnished and downy soft. Then came her owl phase, golden eyes blinking in the darkness, rotating her tiny bird head to smile at us. I still have a brown feather from those years.

When she was frightened, she would become a brown crab with a piecrust carapace, scuttling sideways, pincers clicking defensively, and when she was feeling guilty, she’d move in a strange, hump-backed shuffle, eyes paling to yellow,

a hyena. If you’d dropped her in a barrel full of regular crabs or a cackle of hyenas, I still would have known her. Her distinct vocalizations were always the same regardless of shape. She trilled and cooed

when she was happy, snorted and chuffed when she was annoyed, chittered to demand treats, and at night, she became a little brown dormouse, snoring in her blanket nest. I saw her become a rat,

a buzzard, a monkey, a raccoon, a salamander. Her body would lengthen itself into serpentine form, and we’d have a tiny dragon on our hands, belching tiny flames like a scaly brown Zippo. In the water, she liked to be

a mermaid, though more of the Fiji variety than HC Andersen, with her mashed-in face and sargasso hair. She was a sphinx, a fairy, an elf, a manticore, a banshee, a gargoyle, a squinty-eyed gremlin, a goblin, a Gizmo, a Gollum, the world’s smallest

Wookie, whatever the hell Grogu is, and Salicious B. Crumb. She was the rarest of beasts, and like all fantastic pets, the day came all too soon for our little brown changeling to leave us and go back to her realm for good.

One final transformation, one final conflagration, and in a little brown urn, we keep her phoenix ashes. Sometimes, I still hear her singing, and sometimes, she visits me in my dreams, and there, at last,

she shows me her true face.

[ollieblogs-stuff]

take a seat.

“Damn right, I’m pretty!” Edie’s voice trailed off as she processed the confused squint facing her. 

“I said ‘petty.’ You’re petty, Edie,” stated Jana calmly. 

Right. Of course. Petty. That makes sense. Edie had many, many, flaws, but she liked to think she had the bare minimum level of self-awareness required to acknowledge that fact. 

What had she been thinking? 

The murmuring voices around the two seemed to rise in volume, though Edie knew - rationally - that it had remained the same. Jana looked like she didn't know where to rest her gaze, consumed by the awkwardness they had stumbled into. 

Looking into her sweating glass of lemon squash, the taller of the two frowned into the rising bubbles. “I knew that. I was just messing with you…” Edie announced dully. 

How could she even begin to apologise? How could she begin to explain to the girl she’d antagonised for over a decade that she’d recently had a revelation that…. Changed everything? ‘Hey Jana, I recently realised I’m gay and that I’ve been jealous of your friendships and relationships for years. Our stupid feud was my way of trying to shove myself back into the closet by not having to acknowledge my true feelings for you’...?

Yeah, no. That would not go over well. 

Jana paused, taking a long moment to analyse each facsimile of Edie’s expression. She was surprised to register emotions beyond simple contempt and general displeasure in the familiar face. She just couldn’t figure the other girl out - what was her motive? Edie always seemed to have a plan, some absolutely unhinged plan to further the long-standing ‘rivalry’ they apparently had. 

Sometimes, in the privacy of her own company, Jana allowed herself brief moments to consider her relationship with Edie in a more favourable light. She had done her best to battle Edie’s determined efforts to create and then maintain their feud, but alas, nothing had ever removed that spiteful gleam in the taller girl’s eyes. 

Apparently, the unpleasantness between the two had started on the very first chance meeting in third grade. What Jana had originally recalled as a typical, awkward first introduction to a fellow classmate, had apparently incensed Edie to such a degree that she declared herself an enemy the very next day. 

And, look, Jana considered herself a somewhat sensible and ‘switched on’ twenty-three year old. She could acknowledge that she was not a perfect person, and that she had certainly made some regrettable decisions and faux pas throughout her life. However, Jana struggled to identify an interaction with Edie in the last 15 years that encouraged the other girl’s avid hatred. 

Jana adjusted her grip on the handle of the satchel resting on her shoulder, shuffling her feet in place awkwardly. She opened her mouth to make a weak excuse and scamper from view, somewhat unharmed, when Edie released a deep, weary sigh. The latter seemed to be fighting an internal battle with herself. Edie raked a hand through her short dark curls and mumbled just loud enough for Jana to hear, 

“Screw it. Take a seat Jana. Might as well.”

Jana remained standing, frozen, as she attempted to process this potentially-feud-altering request. Edie looked at Jana’s shocked expression and unmoving body and scoffed, 

“Should have figured you’d never want to. Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

Edie’s head slumped uncharacteristically on the cafe table in front of her. Jana - still in a state of shock and absolutely befuddled at the behaviour she witnessed - hastily sat down on the stool across from her despairing ‘rival’. 

Edie turned her head to eye Jana’s face as she heard the rustling as the other sat down. Her eyes narrowed at the blonde as she readjusted her position for comfort. Jana looked up and met the distrustful gaze with a half-hearted shrug, “What?” 

“Why did you sit down?” questioned Edie suspiciously. 

Jana was floored. 

“Because you asked me to? What do you mean ‘why did you sit down?’ You literally just told me to take a seat!” she replied indignantly. 

“When have you ever listened to what I have to say?” Edie scoffed in return. 

There was not a single word in Jana’s vocabulary that she could use to describe her feelings in that moment. The AUDACITY of Edie to regard her with suspicion for following her request, and to claim such a ridiculously false statement as truth. 

Jana could feel the burning flush of anger spread up her neck as her mouth tightened. 

“That is not fucking true, Edie, and you know it. I always listen to what you have to say. I go out of my way to hear you out and attempt to find some reason for why you hate me so much. When have I EVER, in the entirety of this so-called “feud”, refused to hear you out?” 

Edie opened her mouth - to retaliate, most likely - but Jana was having none of it. 

“I’ve listened to you for 15 goddamn years, Edie! Even though you have never ONCE, in that entire time, said anything positive about me! I listen to you spew hatred towards me, not knowing WHY you decided that I am someone to be hated. I listen, because somewhere deep down, I kn- I HOPED that there was a decent human being who was just not feeling heard!” 

Edie was now just staring at her blankly. Jana’s shoulders slumped as all that was left of the fight inside her left. At the brunette’s continued silence, Jana simply sighed. 

“I come here for a coffee today, and who do I see at the table next to me as I stand in line, than the girl who’s hated me for simply EXISTING for the past 15 years. I say hello, as a polite human should. She snaps back at me and insults my earrings and my girlfriend. We get into this stupid fucking argument… I hear, what I incorrectly assumed was a sliver of the human inside my self-proclaimed enemy when she asks me to sit down. I SIT DOWN… And she -” 

Holy shit, where did these tears come from? Jana’s mortification is still not enough to battle the overwhelming sorrow building up in her chest as she continues to spew out thoughts that had never seen the light of day. 

Through a sob she’d later deny, Jana continued to let out the word vomit. “She harshly rescinds the olive branch and pulls me into the same old routine… I’m tired of this shit, Edie. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for whatever it was that made you despise me. I’ve tried to make my peace with it. I talk about you to my therapist. I try and block out the sound of your fucking voice in my head that constantly repeats all of my flaws - each of which you have previously delighted in listing to me. I can’t escape you, so I’ve tried to make my peace. But no matter how many new friends I make, nothing can diminish your constant narration that lives in my head, telling me I’m useless and unworthy of love… How can someone who is so passionately hated by another be worthy of healthy human connections?” 

Edie’s face was pale. Her wide, vivid hazel eyes were fearfully targeted on Jana. The latter stood in a hurry, wiping her eyes and refusing to face Edie. Jana cleared her throat, and after a harsh nod in Edie’s direction, turned to leave. 

She’d taken one step away, when she suddenly paused. Jana dug around in her satchel for a moment before throwing a $10 note on the table. “Happy fucking birthday, by the way. Your coffee’s on me,” Jana whispered harshly. “Don’t ever fucking talk to me or my girlfriend again, okay?” 

With that, Jana stormed out of the cafe, and out of Edie’s life. The mournful brunette watched her go with welling tear-ducts and the stomach-dropping feeling that she had monumentally and irrevocably fucked up. 

© O.M.A

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #152

boyfriend survey

What’s his first name? Donald Jr., but I've only ever known him as Girt.

Does his surname begin with the same letter as yours? No.

How old is he? 29 and thinks he's basically 60 lol dude you are still in the youth of your life

How long have you been together? A year and eight months.

Do you have a casual or serious relationship? Serious.

How often do you see each other? At least once a week, sometimes maybe one more day. In very rare cases it's gotten past a week, and then I'm just miserable lol

Do you live together? Not yet.

Do you have keys to each other’s places? I know I don't, and I don't think Girt does either, but maybe Mom's given him one at some point.

When was the last time you saw him? Uh it's been like... around five days?

What is the age gap between you? Is he older or younger than you? Two or three years, I can't math, like he's gonna be 30 before I turn 28, but right NOW he's two years older.

Have you met his parents? His mom, yes, his dad died before I ever met his family.

Has he met your parents? Yes.

How many siblings does he have? One sister.

Have you met his siblings? Yes, she's fantastic.

Has he met your siblings? Ashley and Nicole, definitely, and I feeeeel like he's actually met Katie once at Nicole's birthday party many many years ago? I know he hasn't met Bobby, and I'm quite sure not Misty either.

What’s his name in your phone? "Girt <3"

Have you talked about marriage? Yeah, it's not an uncomfortable topic for us, we're both very open about being in this for the long run, especially with just how long we've been friends, though being a couple is obviously different.

Does he have any kids? No.

Does he want kids? I don't think so, but since hearing him say he didn't early in our relationship, he's since said "every guy wants a daughter" when talking casually about kids and that he'd prefer one over a son, but I don't know exactly how he meant that, like how relevant it was to his own, actual life.

Do you see a future with him? Yeah.

Are you “Facebook official”? lol not technically, it's stuck on "pending" because he's never been one to pay attention to Facebook at all, dude barely even knows how things work on there, so he missed the notification to verify it at some point, but thankfully it doesn't bother me, he puts no effort into hiding we're together at all, and that's what matters.

How did you meet him? High school band.

Where did you go for your first date? It was actually bowling, the first time we tried dating, but during our current and much more "real" relationship, it was uhhhh... wow I'm not sure I remember.

Who was the first one to make a move? Originally, him; he asked me out the first time, but I asked him out this go, but I only had the guts to because I was pretty confident he felt the same still, lol.

Have you spoken to him today? On Discord, yes; we do that every day. I haven't verbally spoken to him.

What’s his favorite pizza topping? With our history I'm actually amazed I'm not positive on this haha, I wanna just say pepperoni though?

Does he cook? He knows how to cook two things and that's it, lol. Still better than me.

What sort of phone does he have? Some sort of good quality Android, idk the details.

What size is his bed? I literally still haven't seen his room lmfao, I'm not sure.

Does he like to be big spoon or little spoon when you cuddle? Big spoon, but there are definitely times in bed when he faces away I'm cuddling against him, he finds it hard to fall asleep facing/cuddling me.

Is he a good kisser? Yeah.

Does he make you happy? He absolutely does, more than anyone else is able to.

What’s his fashion style? Comfort haha, regular pants and t-shirts, particularly Saikou brand stuff.

Does he drive? If so, what sort of car? Yes, but I forget what it is. It's black.

Has he ever bought you an item of clothing? Haha he's wanted to before actually but I was too reluctant to share my shirt size, regardless of how stupid that is.

Does he have any piercings? No.

Is he more fun or serious? Fun.

What does he do for a living? He's worked at a big tire factory for like, nine years.

When is the next time you’ll see him? Probably within the next few days.

What’s his favorite thing to drink? Water, this man can destroy water.

Does he live alone, with roommates or with parents? Well it's technically her living with him, but his mom. Actually one of his best friends does too because of familial problems.

Does he have any pets? Yeah, he has a super sweet pit/shepherd mix named Charlie.

Is he your first boyfriend? No.

What was the last movie you watched with him? Wow I have no idea, we don't watch movies much, which is fine with me because I have a hard time getting through movies anyway.

Is he an active person? Well his job is physical and he has long shifts so kinda, but he doesn't do much outside of work.

What’s his favorite candy? Good question, he doesn't let himself have candy a lot at all. I do know he loves Sour Patch, though.

Have you ever met his best friend? Yes.

What’s your favorite physical quality of his? He has an adorable smile, and I like his arms/shoulders.

What color is his hair? Black but graying early and he haaates it.

Do you argue with him often? No, that's really rare for us.

Where was the last place you went with him? Red Robin for Mother's Day.

What color is his toothbrush? Don't know actually.

What kind of movies does he like to watch? Also a good question, but I can tell you he's not a horror fan.

Have you celebrated either of your birthdays together? Yeah.

Does he play any instruments? He was the guy who played tuba in band, and briefly the trombone before I started high school, but I'm doubtful he remembers anything by now.

Do you have any mutual friends? Yes.

How often do you talk to him on the phone? Basically never, I've learned that there have been times he's wanted to call me just to talk but doesn't just because he knows I hate talking on the phone haha, like dude you're an exception.

Does he have a beard or is he clean-shaven? He never has a full beard, genetically he doesn't get a lot of facial hair, but sometimes he has a little bit but generally stays shaved.

What was the last compliment he gave you? I'm not sure, even though he gives 'em quite a bit. We call each other cute a whole lot, so there's a good chance it was that, haha.

Does he dance? No, he's told me he can't and bitch same

Is he taller or shorter than you? He's quite a lot taller.

Has he ever bought you flowers? Twice now. :'D

Do you ever borrow his clothes? No, I doubt his shirts would even fit me; I weigh a lot more than him, although with how tall and broad he is, some shirts might but I kinda don't wanna try and find out they don't lol

Is he a clean or messy person? He knows he's messy and it's the reason I haven't seen his room yet lol, he doesn't believe me when I say I don't care.

What color are his eyes? Brown.

What does he wear to bed? Pj pants and a normal shirt or sometimes no shirt, he'll sometimes change into new work clothes the night before and just sleep in them so he can have more time asleep lol, extremely rarely nothing.

Does he keep his fingernails clean? Reasonably, but I mean he works in a tire factory with the tires so they're not like pristine.

Have you ever shared a shower with him? No, I don't want to share a shower with anyone.

How long after your first date did you see him again? I don't remember, but I'm sure it wasn't that long.

What’s his bedroom like? As mentioned earlier, I actually don't know.

Has he ever had braces? Uhhh I don't think so? I know he hasn't while I've known him.

When was the last time you kissed him? The last time he was here, a few nights ago.

Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day with him? Yes.

How long were you together before you said “I love you”? We never did the first time we tried dating years ago, which was around four months, and I can't quite remember how long it was until I said it and he said it back. It was definitely a few months, though.

What sort of shoes does he usually wear? Sneakers of some sort, I don't pay attention to exactly what they are.

Do you know any of his exes? No.

What’s his favourite cuisine? I'm not certain, but I know he likes Mexican quite a bit.

Was he born in the country he now lives in? Yes.

Have you ever been long-distance with him? No.

Does he ever wear any type of jewelry? No.

What was the first present you got for him? I'm not certain, it really might have been the Vitamin Me thing I got for our first anniversary, because I absolutely couldn't NOT get him something so I sucked it up and asked my mom, I'm still the one that made all the little notes, what really made up the gift.

What was the first present he got for you? ugh this is much harder, he's actually gotten a lot, apparently gifts are one of the stronger love languages from him. I want to say it was a Carbuncle from Final Fantasy plush, the first time we dated; I saw a picture of one and freaked out over how cute it was and then he fuckin showed up with it lmao, I still want to get him out of the bags with my other stuffed animals to keep out.

Does he smoke? No.

What TV shows is he watching at the moment? I don't think he's actively watching anything at home; it's usually us watching stuff together, and we've yet to start a new show since we just finished one.

Have you ever visited him at work? Yes, there was one day I brought him lunch.

Does he play video games? Oh yes, that's his "thing," he loves games.

What was the last thing you argued about? Well it wasn't really an argument since he agreed with me immediately, but he made a bad joke that just shouldn't have been made and it upset me.

Is he straight? Yes.

When is his birthday? I don't feel right sharing that on here.

Have you ever shared a bath with him? No.

Does he ride a motorcycle? No.

How long is his hair? Not very long, but it's not suuuuper short either. He has really thick hair like me and it's also curly, so while it doesn't actually like hang down his neck, there's a good deal of it.

Have you ever been overseas with him? No.

Does he have any tattoos? If so, which one is your favorite? Not yet, but he wants some. I know he'd like a big one on his back and he likes the idea of having a sleeve.

What is his favorite alcoholic beverage? He's never drunk and isn't interested.

Does he speak any languages other than English? He took quite a bit of Spanish in school and remembers some of it, but he's definitely not fluent.

Is he college/university educated? Mostly, yes, but he dropped out during his last semester because of his dad's death, it became way too much. He wants to go back eventually.

How long have you known him? Over a decade, I don't know the exact years by this point.

Does he text back quickly? If he's not at work, generally, yes, he messages back quickly. Off work though he will occasionally get distracted and forget to reply, he's one of those people that can read a message and then forget to message back by the time he can, but it doesn't happen a bothersome amount.

Have you ever celebrated Christmas with him? Not Christmas day, we spend it with our own immediate families.

Has he ever been in a physical fight? He's either been in one when younger or none at all, I can't remember which. I know he hit another guy once as a child because he wasn't leaving him alone, but I feel like he may have mentioned fighting with a guy once? I don't remember.

Did you go to the same high school as him? Yes, that's where we met.

[its-deputy-caleb]

If requests are still open, could I request a gender neutral teenage reader (around 16) who is a lord. They are the kindest and most passive of the lords but they are also the only lord that every other lord likes.

Heyy, so I loved writing these they were super adorable and i did it a little differently where there’s some general head cannons for everyone and then there’s also some for each specific character! Also the reader is 18 because I just think it’s easier for me to handle, I hope that’s okay. These are gender neutral so enjoy! and sorry for the delay!

General HC’s

Being the fifth Lord certainly didn’t mean that you were at the back of the group.

Although you were younger than most of the lords, having been the last to have the Cadou implanted, you were the favourite in the eyes of not just the other Lords but Mother Miranda adored you, even the villagers love you.

Unlike the rest of the Lords, who’s Cadou allowed them to harm and take life, your Cadou allowed you to grow greenery and plant life everywhere.

You had the ability to restore old forests, letting flowers grow from you palm and giving them to the children in the village.

Amongst the village, you’re by far the most beloved of the Lords. Each week you bring down foods that you’ve grown so that there’s food for everyone, using the roots of the trees to grow tall and protect them from Lycans that may want to enter at night.

Everyone can tell where you’ve been because you’ll leave a trail of grass under your feet with little flowers appearing when you walk with bare feet.

The village hosts a week long feast for you where all the Lords celebrate with you. There’s lots of gifts, dancing and offerings. It’s the only joyful time of the year and even the Lords who seem sour like Heisenberg, Alcina and even Miranda seem to tolerate each other to celebrate with you.

Your domain is surrounded by forests and streams which have all been restored, wildlife now dwelling amongst the canopy.

Your house is in the centre of it all, the heart of the forest in a large oak tree which is hollow and now where you call home.

You’re a literal ray of sunshine in this ever gloomy world and no matter who or what you encounter; they adore you instantly

Alcina Dimitrescu

Alcina certainly wasn’t happy that the newest Lord was befriending villagers and protecting them as they were her source of food, but that all came crumbling down when she got to know you.

You couldn’t explain it but your beautiful and bubbly energy transferred to people and everyone noticed that Alcina had become warmer towards everyone else.

She saw you as one of her daughters, so sweet and innocent that she felt that motherly instinct to protect you from all the bad in the world.

She loves to braid your hair, watching as flowers grow between the weaves as she pulls it back gently with her long fingers.

Alcina never complains when moss grows on the walls of her castle as she could never be mad at you. She just gets the maidens to clean it off later.

She hates that she often has to stay in the castle with her daughters so you make sure flowers are growing in all her vases and the courtyard is lit up with bright greens for her daughters to gaze out onto.

Everyone at the castle loves you, the maidens, her daughters and especially the Lady of the House as you instantly make the room brighter.

Donna Beneviento

Donna is in absolute awe of you.

She is always so excited to spend time with you and you make her feel loved and happier.

You’re like the younger sibling she never had and she can’t stop smiling when you visit her manor.

Sometimes when you come over for lunch or spend a lazy afternoon over at her house, you open your palm and let a little white flower grow from your palm. You always tuck it behind her ear with a strand of her hair and then grow a smaller one for Angie and place it on her veil.

Donna has a tendency to close herself off from people and often feels lonely but you’re the only one who makes her feel loved.

You show her parts of your forest, places she’s never explored and if she’s scared you simply hold her hand tightly in reassurance.

Once when you were walking through the path leading from your home a deer had stopped in front of you.

Donna was instantly scared of the creature having never seen one before but you gently took her over to it and got her to hold out her hand.

It smelt her hand, it’s doe eyes looking at her before it ran off again and she’d never felt happier since you were there the whole time with her.

She loved getting to explore the woodlands with you, bringing Angie along of course. She felt safe and comfortable with you and she trusted you enough to show her your world which she was captured by instantly.

You make her happy and always manage to lift her spirits up with your powers and you friendship.

Salvatore Moreau

Salvatore loves your powers so much. He’s captured by them immediately and is always so excited to see you grow new things.

He can’t believe that you’d ever want to spend time with him so you always try to cheer him up with homemade meals from things you’ve grown or gifts woven out of wood for him to decorate his home with.

You’ll never forget the way his eyes lit up when you used your powers to restore the windmill that had broken. Using tree branches to make the wind turbine and watching the walls grow green.

The reservoir is no longer gloomy like it used to be but instead there is life all around his land.

The snow melts away to reveal lush green fields which reflect the water beautifully and the petals of trees fall into the water, floating on the light.

He loves to see you and always gets giddy when you visit him, watching as he jumps for joy when he sees you at the front gate.

Karl Heisenberg

Karl will NOT admit it, but you’re the literal ray of sunshine in his life, getting excited when he sees you walk through the gates of his factory.

Hes always smiling to himself when he sees moss, flowers and vines throughout the metal benches and grates of his factory but will deny it if anyone asks.

Sometimes when he’s welding away at metal he won’t hear you come in, and only realises it when he takes a break and sees you curled on the floor with three lycan puppies in your arms as you create sticks from your hands to play fetch with.

Karl is very protective over you and hates when you’re at family meetings because Miranda wants to use your gifts of growth and healing to experiment on you further. Wanting to see if you could potentially grow new limbs or heal others not just the natural world.

One time he walked into experimenting rooms ready for another trial on a potential solider when he notices the Soldat had green leaves coming from his wounds and his torso was wrapped in vines. He couldn’t help but smile at your little additions and made a note in his designs to make all his Soldat’s with your touches to them, deciding that they looked better with them anyway.

[kirishimaswife2819]

When Their S/o is on Their Period || BNHA Boy Headcanons

Masterlist

Pairings: Izuku Midoriya x Fem!Reader, Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader, Eijiro Kirishima x Fem!Reader, Shoto Todoroki x Fem!Reader, and Denki Kaminari x Fem!Reader

Summary: How the boys act when you’re on your period

Word Count: 1.6k

A/n: I wrote this because my period is supposed to come in like two days and I am not very excited at all. Anyway, I hope you like these headcanons, and requests are still open and all that, just read the rules first. Also, thanks for everyone who has liked/reblogged any of my posts or even followed me, I really appreciate it. Hope you all have a great day/night! :) -Danielle <3

Izuku Midoriya:

If you don’t tell him ahead of time that you’re going to be on your period and you snap at him he’s gonna get so upset

Like he’s going to think about every little thing that happened for the past few weeks and try to see where he went wrong

Then when you tell him you’re on your period, he’s going to just freeze, and then start to panic

His face gets all red, but he still asks if you if you need anything

If you send this boy to the store to get pads/tampons, expect him to be gone for a solid few hours

When he firsts gets to aisle, he stands there, because he knows absolutely nothing about pad/tampons, and he doesn’t know what brand to get

So then, he takes out his phone and starts typing, and trying to do research, but google isn’t helping him decide what to get at all

So, then the nice old lady restocking the shelves, offers to help, noticing how he’s panicking

He still ends up getting a few different brands, but that’s okay

If you get bad cramps, like really bad, he’s definitely going to cry

He hates seeing you in pain

If you are having cramps he’ll give you some medicine he bought and offer you a heating pad

After he gets you feeling a little better, he’s going to give you all the snacks he got you and offer to cuddle and watch whatever you want with him

Overall, even though he gets really embarrassed about it, he’ll still help you if you need him to

Katsuki Bakugou:

If you snap at him, he’s going to like brush it off, but after the second or third time he’s going to go off on you

But once you tell him you’re on your period he’s going to be so confused

Not because he doesn’t know what it is, but because he has no clue what he’s supposed to do about it

He’ll apologize for going off on you

By apologize I mean that he’ll mumble sorry under his breath so that you can barely hear it

But I mean it’s Bakugou, so just take what you can get

He probably wouldn’t offer to go anywhere to get you anything

But if you ask him, he’ll go (Only after complaining the whole time getting ready to leave though)

He’s going to make sure you tell him what brand of pads/tampons to get so he doesn’t have to embarrass himself in front of people in the store

If the cashier says one word about him buying them or gives him a weird look, he’s going to get very pissed

“They’re for my girlfriend, now stop giving me weird ass looks and comments and just scan the damn things!”

He’ll probably end up grabbing more snacks or chocolate than you asked for but if you ask why he did that, he’s going to say it was a total accident, even though it wasn’t

After he brings you the stuff he’ll just crash in your bed, and demand cuddles

But he won’t ask, he’ll just pull you to him and cuddle you

The first time you’re on your period around him, he’s pretty embarrassed but hides it, but with time, he gets used to it and it doesn’t bother him anymore

Although no matter if he’s sixteen and buying pads/tampons for you or seventy and buying pads/tampons for you, he’s still going to end up yelling at the poor cashier, even if they don’t comment or give him a look

Eijiro Kirishima:

I may be a bit biased because I absolutely love Kirishima (if you couldn’t tell), but I am convinced that he would be the best boyfriend in every way

And that includes when you’re on your period

If you snap at him, he’s going to get a little upset, but immediately ask what’s wrong and try to figure out what the issue is

After you tell him, he’s going to panic but hide it so he doesn’t alarm you

Immediately offers to go get you anything you need

But he’s so eager to help you out, he forgets to ask what brand of pads or tampons to buy 

So now he’s in the feminine hygiene product aisle, standing next to some twelve year old girl whose low key too embarrassed to grab a box of pads in front of some teenage boy

So she’s just standing there, waiting for him to leave, but he’s trying to figure out which box to buy, so he’s like looking at all of them and picking them up, trying to figure out the difference between all of them

And the girl goes to quickly grab a box and run off, but then he speaks

“Wait, can you help me?”

And the girl low key just wants to disappear right then and there, but she helps him anyway

This man walks away with a few different brands of pads/tampons in his arms not realizing he just traumatized some little girl by asking her for advice on getting his girlfriend pads/tampons

Then he grabs you some snacks, medicine, and whatever else you wanted, before checking out and leaving

He like rushes home because he was taking so long and he was worried about you

But when he like bursts into your room, you’re literally fine, and just chilling eating some stale chips, and watching some Netflix

Kirishima immediately takes away your stale chips, and gives you the stuff he bought

So now you guys are eating the new and not stale chips while binge watching your favorite Netflix show for the fiftieth time

Shoto Todoroki:

I only have three words: Human Heating Pad

But seriously, if you have cramps, and you tell him heat helps, he’s definitely going to offer for you to use his hand as a heating pad

Once he learns that you’re on your period, he’s going to try his best to help, but he knows nothing about them despite having a sister

After taking a moment to compose himself after initial shock of you telling him, he’s going to offer to go to the store for you

So, now he’s in the aisle, trying to figure out what brand to get

He had tried calling you, but you must of been napping, because you didn’t pick up

Eventually he decides to call his sister and ask for some help

His sister proceeds to tell him about pads and tampons and how they work

He ends up writing some of the stuff down in his notes on his phone so he knows for next time and doesn’t forget

Then he’ll get whatever else you want

He’ll probably end up grabbing something extra too

Like a little gift such a plushie or a necklace, since he now knows periods really suck

He ends up getting you a gift every time your on your period (with Endeavor’s credit card of course), so it kind of morphs into a little tradition even though you insist that he doesn’t need to do it

But once he returns to home, you apologize for not answering, since you were in fact napping, but he quickly shuts you down and gives you everything he had got for you

Then you use his hand as your personal heating pad and talk about your lives

Overall, he’s pretty calm about the situation, and doesn’t make it a bigger deal than it needs to be

Denki Kaminari:

When you snap, or if you snap, he’s probably just going to brush it off

But the second time you snap at him, he makes some dumb remark

Probably something like, “Damn is it that time of the month or something?”

That gets him a textbook to his face

He’s honestly surprised with your response to his question

“Actually, yeah! Asshole! Now, if you’re gonna be a jerk, get the hell out and leave me alone!”

He was only joking and didn’t expect you to actually say yes

After you admit that you being on your period is the problem, he doesn’t know what to do

He knows the basics of a period, he knows you bleed, and like chocolate, and you sometimes get cramps, but other than that he has no idea how to handle the situation

After a moment of trying to figure out what to do, he asks if you need anything

Now he’s in the store, trying to figure out what a ‘flow’ is, and why pads and tampons are so expensive

He ends up calling Kirishima to come help, who has no clue what to do either

Then they turn it into a group call by adding Bakugou and Sero

Bakugou calls them ‘fucking stupid’ but doesn’t know shit about periods either so when they ask him for help he makes up some excuse for not telling Kaminari what to do

Sero is actually helpful and tells him to just get one of each type of flow, since Kaminari refuses to call you and ask (R.I.P. Kaminari’s wallet)

Kaminari thanks him, and then they end the call

Then he gets whatever else you asked for, before heading home

When he gets there, he awkwardly hands you the bag and asks if you need anything else

When you say you want him to stay, he’s immediately jumping into your bed and cuddling with you

He thought since you were on your period, you wouldn’t want to be around him and it low key made him kind of sad, cause he would miss you

Then you guys spend the rest of the night scrolling through Tik Tok, and laughing along to videos

At some point, you end up seeing the thing girls do on Tik Tok where they ask their boyfriend’s how pads work

When Kaminari continues watching the video, and learns how pads actually work, he’s like turns to you and is like

“Wait, the sticky part doesn’t stick to your vagina?”

Somebody please help this poor idiot

[enderwoah]

ORIGINS SMP HEADCANONS (because i love them): SEASON TWO EDITION BAYBEEE

(this is really long ENJOY :gun:)

tommy

he is phil's son smile

phil's most recent son at least

he's got like one more somewhere

he picked this one up off the dangerous streets a few years ago and he's been sticking with phil ever since

his wings are small- not too small to fly, but they're untrained to the point where it would take a lot or work to get him off the ground

but at first, he didn't really seem to want to learn all that much?

(he has three scars on his face- all from trying to learn how to fly when he was younger)

(he gave up after the third one)

("if at first you don't succeed; try, try again" is his motto, and he tried all three times)

but!! phil and wilbur are very persuasive :) and now that he knows he can fly, he's not going to rest until he does

he's a little manipulative to get what he wants sometimes, but can you blame someone that lived on the street for so long?

he had to do that to survive! it's not his fault.

(it's a great excuse.)

he laughs like a kookaburra amen

he squawks when he gets scared

he chirps. he tries not to because it makes phil go absolutely bird-brained but he does sometimes and he hates it.

tubbo

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A B[GUNSHOTS]

god he is. so fucking annoying (/rp)

he simply does not know when to stop

he ignores social cues to see when someone is annoyed

(see: he can read social cues. he does read social cues. when you get annoyed that's when he starts being more annoying, because you're more likely to give him what he wants to get him to shut the fuck up.)

he loves talking to (at) people, especially people he doesn't really know that well

so he's trying to be friends with ranboo, but the absolute prick keeps trying to avoid any actual conversations, so that's not working

he buzzes when he gets excited-happy

his fingertips are completely blackened and horrendously sharp, functioning as ten individual stingers

they don't do any actual damage but he's working on that

techno

wither hybrid (??)

how can you be a wither hybrid?? nobody got down and dirty with the wither

he's an experiment

the reason we haven't seen him yet? he's staying away from the main area of the smp

he doesn't want to ruin its natural beauty with his withering effect, so he keeps to himself on the outskirts of the smp

which sucks

withers get health from killing things

he's not fully a wither, so he gets energy from being around people and sort of draining their life force a little bit

he feels terrible when he's with just one person because they are Literally his life support and it makes the person feel like shit

when he's with a big group of people its great!! he only has to take a little bit from everyone and its barely noticable!!

but then there's the wither part. so he has to stay away.

he's always tired

always exhausted

he's a farmer, so taking it from animals works, but god does he miss people

but he can only visit a few times and for very short

(he's afraid that one of these days he'll get so bad that the next time he sees someone he'll accidentally kill them)

(it already happened once. he's blessed that he's been forgiven, even made friends with by the victims, but he doubts he'll be able to pull that off again with no consequences like last time)

wilbur

phantlings are dead elytrians, and given that wilbur was phil's son...he's a phantling

he died in the late 50s and was a librarian when he was alive, so he's very possessive (ha) over all of his things

you should never ask to "borrow" anything from him, he will hound you about it until you give it back

it's best to just say that you want something from him to keep

even if youre going to give it back

just for your own peace of mind

phantlings can feel fear and get a genuine feeling of elation from scaring people

of course, sometimes its unwelcome (feeling large amounts of fear from someone they care about in a bad way just makes them pissed)

but for the most part, wilbur loves appearing in the corner of people's visions just to jumpscare them a few minutes later

all in good fun, of course!! it's just hilarious :)

being the lighthearted, fun guy he is, he's not particularly secretive about his method of death

"how did i die? well, it all started -- ended -- on november 16th, 1958!"

"i walked out of the library late, since i took the shift for my wife since she was feeling sick and i worked there anyways,"

"the streets were dark and only lit up by gaslamps...and out of an alley...appeared..........."

techno.

he didn't mean it. wilbur isn't at all mad at him (anymore)

he was starving. he didn't know that one touch would be enough to fully revitalize him...

and murder wilbur where he stood.

sneeg

has details on everyone on the server

you Cannot Hide Shit From Sneeg

its impossible

if you find of his any shittly little mouse holes then you're doomed

you find one and there are twenty more

he's under your floorboards while you're having your important discussion about trapping the nether roof

sucks to suck ig??

he seems to be the favourite of many, which is weird since he rarely goes out of his way to actually talk to many people

he's the only person that tubbo doesn't actively try to annoy (or maybe he just doesn't find tubbo's antics all that annoying)

he's the only person that ranboo stays around (or maybe he stays around ranboo- he and Phil seem to be the only ones not off-put by his slightly sadistic and whiny demeanour (not counting tubbo, who annoys him anyways)

phil seems to be more protective of him than he thinks is normal (he lets sneeg ride on his shoulder while travelling, so he doesn't really complain)

niki is completely protective over him (again, not complaining)

contrary to popular believe, he does not get high from sugar

if anything he gets

high-per

(get it)

(high-per)

(hyper)

he's literally just a nine-year old getting a sugar rush leave him alone

phil

take the normal "bird-brain" headcanons and multiply it by like sixty-four

and you've got origins phil

he can't see glass- or, rather, he can, but it doesn't register that 'hey, this is a solid surface i am going to slam into'

its very funny for everyone else but he's pretty sure he has permanent brain damage from the blunt force trauma

if there is ANYONE on the server who dares to chirp, bird or no, they must understand that they are signing away their privacy and giving phil the right to go absolutely bonkers over them momma bird style

(shoutout to tommy, wilbur, ranboo, and fundy for having to suffer through this)

"oh??? you don't have wings?? you don't have feathers?? omg?? then what's this im preening?? what do you mean im just braiding your hair?? nono this is preening smile"

god help you if you dare to have wings

poor tommy, wilbur, sneeg, and tubbo

phil can't help himself alright

do you think he wants to be any sort of protective over sneegsnag?

no!! but he cant stop himself!! sneeg might damage his wings if he keeps flying those super long distances!!! nnnno! carry the bug man!!!

it's weird, he's always had that protective sense over ranboo, too

but ranboo very obviously doesn't have wings, so he doesn't get it...

ranboo

yes ur a peasant

yes ur poor

yes im cooler than u

what r u gonna do about it

the enderdragon's son! partially a dragon, partially enderman, partially human (don't ask, his other mom is a hybrid), all spoiled brat!

given that he has a ton of dragon genes, he's extremely possessive over his stuff and Yes He Does Do The Hoarding Thing

he has a pile of rings and gold chains and necklaces and most of his jewellery hidden underneath his bed

(if you ask him, no, he doesn't)

not to wear

just to Have

one time, fundy stole one (1) bracelet from the hoard and ranboo was sent into a panic for a good 24 hours

he wouldn't leave his cave and kept counting and recounting as if that'd make the missing piece reappear

(when fundy had to give it back because of the guilt, he expected to get his face bitten off)

(instead, he just watched as the prince was flooded with relief, telling him to get the hell out and nothing more)

it's weird, he has so much gold and even a crown, and yet here he is

living with all those people ^^^

truth be told, the enderdragon isn't a very nice dragon

nor is she a very kind queen

nor was the other queen

nor was her son

there was a mutiny in the end, leading to the dragon queen and her wife being killed brutally by the crowd of angered people

they went after their son next, who had ordered executions and worked servants to the bone just as much as they had

they cut off his wings in the middle of the square

he was sure he was going to die until a random person (a peasant) jumped up and yelled at them for publicly torturing a child

but ranboo didn't really catch all of it, given he was delirious from pain

he got to get some stuff quickly and escape with his life

this wasn't too long ago, either, so he's still trying to...adjust...to people talking rudely to him

(he's also trying to adjust to not having wings)

(hence why he hurls himself off the edges of cliffs and then has to teleport to the bottom instead of glide. he keeps forgetting.)

[boxesandrings]

I it’s me again I love your stuff. A idea I had inspired a fanart Shane reacting to F!farmer telling him she’s pregnant

( I’m just curious where that would go )

(Hi I promise this is much happier than what the description sounds like!! I think considering Shane’s mental health history life changing news like this isn’t something he’d brush past with no second thought, having a kid is kinda scary to everyone! Promise it’s mostly fluff but wanted to tag anything that could be triggering for others xoxo)

Title: A Father!

Rating: T (mostly for language, but Shane's earlier heart events are mentioned briefly)

Summary: The Farmer shares some exciting news with Shane! He's immediately over the moon, but quickly becomes overwhelmed.

CW: Mentions of pregnancy, Shane's early heart-events, a panic attack(?)

Characters: Shane, F!Farmer, Marnie, Evelyn, Pierre (pretty much all are mentioned)

Words: 3816

Shane took off his boots before entering the cabin, grimacing as he bent to do so. Marnie had needed help repairing some things at the ranch today, and he had spent most of it in a crouch. His thighs were punishing him for it now, sore with every step. Maybe he’d take a bath tonight, let his muscles soak in the warm water and try to relax a bit. Maybe his wife would take one with him.

He waddled into the house, his legs tight and called out. “I’m home! You in?”

The Farmer was often out late, working in the fields or with the animals, or sometimes off mining or fishing at the lake by Robin’s. It had been lonely at first, an empty house was something he’d never experienced, but he had found ways to preoccupy himself. After a month, he and his then girlfriend had a chat, the Farmer promising to be home by 7 every night, or calling and letting him know if something had unexpectedly come up otherwise holding her late.

“In the kitchen!” Shane smiled, making his way toward the room. It was barely 5, a sign for a good night. The sound of music grew louder and the smell of bacon wafted toward him. In the kitchen, he found his wife flipping pancakes but minding another pan on the back burner. She turned when she heard him get closer, waving her spatula before focusing back on the food. Shane walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her, kissed her cheek and rested his head on her shoulder.

“I thought it was my night to cook?” The pair switched who cooked every night, and Shane was certain it was his night. Or had he missed yesterday?

“Hello to you too.” The Farmer twisted her head around the best she could and puckered her lips, which Shane quickly kissed. “It was, but I just wanted to cook tonight. Go sit! I just finished up.” Shane squeezed his wife once more, but made his way over to the table. He groaned as he lowered himself into the chair.

The Farmer tilted her head as she carried a stack of pancakes for the table, watching as Shane rubbed his legs.

“Long day?” Shane nodded.

“Marnie called this morning and said that some pipes in the barn needed repairing, but neglected to mention that it was literally almost every single pipe in the barns, all the ones that carry water to the dispensers.” The Farmer set down the plate of bacon on the table, then slid into Shane’s lap, her arms around his neck.

“Oh, that’s rough.” Shane nodded, tilting his head forward into hers.

“They’re all so low to the ground, I essentially was in a squat all day. My thighs are killing me.” The Farmer nodded, her head moving his. She kissed his temple and stood up.

“I think I have some of that muscle cream lotion stuff that helps with the soreness. I’ll find it after dinner.” She made her way to her own chair, sitting down. “Not all bad though, squats are pretty good for the booty.” She smiled as she picked up a piece of bacon and winked.

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” Shane shook his head, but smiled as he used his fork to slide a pancake onto his own plate. Yoba, was he hungry. “How was your day?”

The Farmer bit her lip, smiling. “Oh, you know. Same old.” Shane looked up, cautiously eyeing his wife. She was biting her lip, trying to hide an obvious smile and kept looking up at Shane as she made her plate. Shane squinted.

“I feel like you really want me to ask what else happened.” His wife nodded, slightly shimmying in her chair.

“I heard some real good gossip.” Shane couldn’t help but laugh after she said it. His wife looked so pleased with herself, like she could barely handle keeping her excitement inside. She grinned incredibly wide, biting her tongue. Shane picked up a piece of bacon and took a bite.

“Oh, what is it?” He raised his eyebrows a few times, making his wife laugh. After she had calmed herself for a second, she leaned forward, as if the knowledge itself were moving her.

“Someone we know is pregnant.” Shane dropped his fork and coughed. Now that was some good gossip. In a town as small as Pelican Town, secrets among residents were incredibly hard to keep, and something as big as that would have spread easily within a day to the entire population. How had he not heard yet?

“Who?” The Farmer leaned back in her chair, biting her thumbnail.

“Guess.” Shane ran his teeth over his tongue as he mentally went through each of the town’s residents.

“Jodie and Kent? I feel like they could have another, the gap would be the same from Sam to Vincent to this one.” The Farmer watched Shane, her face giving away nothing. Finally, she shook her head, the same shit-eating grin on her face. Shane thought hard.

“It can’t be Demetrius and Robin, he practically yelled from the mountain top when he had his vasectomy. I don’t think Pierre and Caroline even like each other anymore…” He watched his wife’s face.

“Keep guessing.” Shane threw his hands up, but continued to smile.

“You’re gonna make me keep guessing?”

“Come on! You’re getting closer.” Shane sighed.

“Let's see… Maru and Penny are together, so I don’t think they could… Sam is, and no offence to the guy, but the biggest virgin I’ve ever met…Harvey… no.” He looked down at the table, scratching his chin. “Sebastian and Abby could be… Alex and Haley, but I’m not sure if they’re broken up right now.”

He looked up toward his wife, but her face gave away no hints. “I mean, Elliot sleeps with practically every tourist, so statistically speaking…” Shane shook his head, his eyes wide, and his wife snorted. “I don’t know? Emily isn’t with anyone, Leah isn’t, but I might not know.”

Eyes wide, he looked back up at his wife. “It couldn’t physically… Marnie couldn’t…” The Farmer’s face finally broke, a similar look of horror on her own face.

“Oh Yoba no, don’t even—” She made a face, shaking her head. “She’s too old, and not to be mean but I think if your aunt was having a baby with Mayor Lewis?” She shook her head again, faster. “You’d find me in here retching.”

Shane leaned back in his chair and dragged his hand over the bottom half of his face, thinking. The devilish smile slowly creeped it’s way back onto his wife’s face as she watched him. Finally, he sighed.

“Who is it?” The Farmer suddenly stood up and ran to one of the cabinets, pulling out a sandwich bag. She sat back in her seat, and slid the bag across the table to Shane. He picked up the bag and realized there were three white, long sticks in the bag, each one with two pink lines on one end. He dropped the bag.

“Oh, gross, where were these?” He looked up at his wife, expecting the same grin, but was confused to see that it had fallen, a look almost like annoyance on her face.

“Good god, Shane, did you— do you think I’m going around picking up random pregnancy tests?” He paused, his mouth dropping.

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. She didn’t find them, she took them. That’s why he hadn’t heard the gossip already, she was the only one that knew.

He jumped to his feet, forgetting the soreness in his legs. His hands covered his mouth, open in shock as he looked at his wife. She nodded at him, the smile returned to her face, hints of tears glistening in her eyes. He turned from the pregnancy tests on the table, pointing at them, to covering his mouth again and looking back at his wife.

She continued to nod, crying definitively now but still smiling. The pair had been married for almost two years, and while they hadn’t made a point of deciding to actively try for a baby, they certainly had been playing it fast and loose. Four months into the marriage they decided that what would happen would happen and stopped using any birth control, the Farmer throwing out any pills she had left. Lately, the couple had stopped even pretending they worried about the possibility of getting pregnant, and Shane had felt that a ‘we should start actively trying’ conversation was weeks away, rather than months or years.

Finally, Shane spoke. “Are… you’re…” The Farmer nodded, sniffling and smiling.

“Yeah, yeah!” Her voice was breathy, joyfully crying through the words.” Shane covered his mouth again and felt his own tears beginning to pop up in the corner of his eyes.

“I— I need you to say it.” The Farmer laughed.

“I’m pregnant.” Shane ran at his wife, scooping her up in his arms, pressing his lips firmly onto hers. She laughed as she kissed him back, her arms wrapped tightly around them as they stood in the kitchen, her tears against his face, or maybe they were his own?

They stood, holding each other, smiling and laughing and kissing, until Shane quite literally swept his wife off her feet, fireman carrying her into the bedroom while she laughed in his arms. He set her down on the bed and wrapped his arms around her, practically attaching himself to her as he kissed her face as she pretended to struggle beneath him, giggling the whole time.

He laid on his stomach next to her, his face turned towards her on the pillow. She watched him back, still laying flat on the bed.

“You’re pregnant.” The Farmer smiled and nodded.

“I’m pregnant.” Shane smiled, scanning his wife’s face.

“We’re having a baby.” She scooched her face closer, kissing the tip of his nose.

“We’re having a baby.” The two gazed at each other, minds racing with nothing and everything at once. Shane lifted himself up and moved closer to his wife, his face only inches away from hers, sliding one arm under her head and placing the other hand on her stomach. Shane bit his lip.

“When do we want to tell my family?” The Farmer sighed and looked up toward the ceiling.

“I don’t know. I want to tell them, but so much can happen in the first few months…” She trailed off, running her tongue over her top teeth. “Maybe in a month or two? Once the pregnancy is past that first little hurdle.” Shane kissed her cheek.

“I get it. Marnie tells Lewis, Lewis tells everyone.” He sighed now. “I mean, you’re only 30, I don’t think you’re high risk or anything.” His wife shook her head and smiled at him.

“No, it’ll be perfect.” She slid a hand over the one he had on top of her stomach. “I know it. Just in the small chance, I don’t want everyone knowing.” She looked back toward the ceiling. “Also, I don’t want all the attention right away. It’s such a small, small town. Something like this will rock the pelican town people to their cores.” She laughed, Shane joining in beside her. “But I promise, when we do tell people, Marnie will be the first to know.” Shane nodded.

“We’ll let her tell everyone else. Makes it easy.” The Farmer snorted.

“Yeah.” She drew circles on his hand with her thumb. “I mean, I guess we have to tell Harvey, for obvious reasons, but I don’t think he can legally tell others.” Shane laughed again, and pulled his hand out from under his wife’s, moving it up from her stomach to her chin. He pulled her face toward his, kissing her softly.

“We’re having a baby,” he whispered, his nose touching hers. The Farmer smiled, and kissed him again.

“We’re having a baby.”

*****************************************************************

Shane couldn’t sleep, far too excited by the day’s news. No matter how long he kept his eyes closed, or tried to count deep breaths, Shane was restless. His wife had fallen asleep over an hour ago and was curled into a little ball by his side, her head on top of one of his arms.

They were having a baby. Yes, it had been something he and his wife had talked about for a while, one day wanting children, but now it was actually happening. He turned his head to look at the Farmer, drooling on his arm, and smiled. They weren’t kids anymore, Shane well into his thirties, and his wife just into them, but it still felt so strange and new and exciting for them to be parents now.

Shane bolted upright, his stomach immediately twisting. The Farmer groaned on the bed next to him, violently awoken by the sudden removal of his arm. She rubbed her eyes with one hand and propped herself up, squinting in the dark.

“Did I sleep through the alarm again?” She yawned. Shane hopped out of the bed, bee-lining to the bathroom. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

“I’m gonna be sick.” Shane slammed the door behind him, ignoring his wife’s further questions. He barely had made it to the toilet when he felt it deep within him, the nausea making its way out into the bowl. He didn’t hear his wife come into the room, only felt her hand on his back as he continued to retch. Finally, he laid his head against the bowl, breathing heavily.

“Shane?” He could hear his wife behind him start to speak but pause, unsure of what to say or ask, her mouth just kind of opening and shutting. She laid her head against his back and sighed. “Do you want some water?”

“I’m going to be a dad.” The Farmer chuckled behind him.

“Yeah. I think we covered that a bit earlier.” She lifted her head and resumed rubbing his back. “I’m excited too.” Shane sighed.

“I’m gonna fuck this kid up.” His voice cracked, and he watched as a tear fell from his face. The Farmer paused.

“What?” Shane pulled his arms up onto the bowl, wrapping them around his head.

“I’m a massive fuck-up, and I’m going to fuck up this baby too.” His shoulders shook, an attempt to hold back his tears. “I could barely take care of myself, how am I—” Shane’s voice broke. The Farmer let out a tense breath behind him, and began to rub his back again.

“Shane, no! Don’t say that.” He lifted his head up, and turned to look at his wife.

“I am. I mean, I was worthless. All I did was drink, I hated myself, and for fucks sake, I tried—” Shane paused as he noticed his wife’s lower lip start to tremble and sighed. “I could barely hold myself together until you got here, what, five years ago?” He bit his lip, the tears coming out faster now. “I’m doing good now, but what happens if it all falls apart again?” His voice cracked again, and Shane didn’t bother to hold back a sob.

The Farmer tried her best to pull Shane into her, them both sitting on the floor, but Shane just sat there numb. He wanted to have this life with his wife, a family together, but how could he be a dad? Why did she even want him?

“Shane, please.” He looked over to the Farmer, who was crying, her arms around him. He’d made her cry, husband of the year material! “I think you’re just… you did this when the dog died, too. It’s a lot of information coming in at once, big information. But it’s okay!” Her hands slid down his shoulder, taking his hands in her own. “We’re doing this together.”

Shane let out an indignant snort. “I can’t even handle the announcement, what happens when the baby comes?” His head was spinning. She deserved better. He loved her.

“Shane! You’re okay, it’s okay. We’re in it together, we have each other.” She squeezed his hands, scooting closer to him. “You’re going to be great, okay? You’re not a fuck-up. We all have rough patches, you just didn’t have the support system you needed. Please.” She kissed his temple, but Shane stared straight ahead, toward the wall. He wished he could shrink into a tiny ball.

“I can’t… I can’t mess this up too.” The Farmer pulled his head down to her shoulder, her hands carefully working their way through his hair.

“You’re not going to mess this up, babe. I think you’re just panicking.” She held him close, continuing to quietly stroke his head. “I’m nervous too, but I know I have you.” He loved her, but when she shifted away beneath him, the panic filled his chest again. “I’m going to go grab your anxiety meds. I don’t think you took them at dinner, they might help.” She fully slid out away from him, Shane’s heart beginning to race. The Farmer stood up and stretched out her back. “Now that I think of it, I don’t think either of us even ate.”

Shane felt sick to his stomach, and barely made his way back to the toilet bowl before throwing up again. The Farmer crouched next to him, her hand on his back. Shane could practically feel the concerned look burning into the back of his head.

“Even if I don’t mess up, I’m just passing a damn cocktail of mental illness along.” He sat back on the floor, and used his hand to try and rub away the tears that wouldn’t stop coming. The Farmer above him sighed and sat back down, and wrapped an arm back around his shoulder.

“Babe, don’t—” Shane choked and leaned forward, wrapping his arms over his head.

“It doesn’t even stand a chance, I’ve just fucked it up from the beginning!” He could feel himself hyperventilating, what did his therapist tell him to do? “It’s gonna hate me, I’ve already ruined everything—”

“Shane!” The Farmer’s face in front of his snapped him out of the almost trance he was in, the distraction what his body needed to get in at least one deep breath. She had tears on her cheeks, but her voice gave away no sadness. “Stop it! Calm down!”

Shane leaned forward into her, practically up on his knees now to wrap his arms around her, holding her tight as he cried. She rocked her body, quietly shooshing as she held him, pressing kisses into the top of his head as she did.

“You’re not going to fuck this up,” she said after Shane’s breathing became more regular. “I mean, we’re going to make mistakes. Both of us! A lot. But we’re going to be new parents, it happens.” He nodded, squeezing his eyes tight. “You’re not going to spiral— I mean, now, yes— but it’s not going to get bad like it was ever again, okay? You have me, your therapist, Marnie, we’re all here for you.”

“I love you.” His words were muffled, his face still pressed into her chest. He felt a rumble, a small chuckle above him.

“I love you too. Also, you’re not the only one afraid of passing on bad shit. I mean, my mom is medicated for depression, and I have ADHD.” Shane raised his head, his face even with hers.

“Yeah, I guess.” The Farmer smiled, and reached on her hands up to cup Shane’s face, wiping away a tear with her thumb.

“Yeah, dummy.” Shane smiled and kissed his wife, before pulling back and biting his lip.

“I’m— I’m so excited, I really am.” His eyes met hers briefly, before he looked away again. “I want this with you, truly, I—” The Farmer leaned forward and kissed her husband again.

“I know, Shane. I get it.” They held each other on the floor, their foreheads pressed together. Shane tried to calm himself, breathing in time with his wife. “We’re in it together, alright? We’ve got it.” Shane nodded.

“I know, I’m sorry.” The Farmer smiled.

“It’s okay, it’s gonna be a big change.” She chuckled to herself. “We’ve got nine months, I’m sure this won’t be the last freak out. That either of us have.” The Farmer stood up, and offered a hand to Shane, smiling. “Good luck to you when I have to start buying maternity clothes.” Shane grinned and took her hand.

“What? You’re cooking up a baby in there, you’re gonna grow.” He kissed his wife on the cheek and wrapped his arm around her.

“Oh, I know that now,” the Farmer said, leading the two of them back into their bedroom. “But I’m sure hormone-y me will have to reckon with that later.”

Shane snorted as the Farmer sat down on the bed, and pulled Shane down into her. He kissed her forehead and climbed over, pulling the covers up on his side of the bed. She snuggled back into him, her head resting on his shoulder, but Shane could feel her squirming.

“You feeling better?” Her voice was quiet. Shane nodded, and wrapped his arm around her head.

“Yeah.”

“Good.” Her arm snaked its way over his chest, reaching up to hold the side of his head. “You’re gonna be great.”

Shane smiled, and moved his head to kiss the palm against his cheek. “You too.”

****************************************************************

It took Marnie two weeks to figure it out. Something about the way the Farmer was moving, she had told Shane, was different, and trapped him in her kitchen until he confessed. Marnie was over the moon, and promised not to tell anyone, but Shane ran home and told the Farmer straight away. His wife had bit her lip but shook her head, smiling. “If anyone was going to piece it together, it’d be her.”

In Marnie’s defense, it was almost a week before Evelyn congratulated the pair at the general store. Shane watched as Pierre blushed and ducked behind a shelf, but the Farmer thanked her and moved past, reaching for a bag of flour on the top shelf.

“You know, that was a pretty good run, all things considered.” Shane nodded, agreeing with his wife.

“I mean, that has to be a record! What, five? Six days?” The Farmer laughed, and hoisted the last grocery bag up into the truck. She caught Shane’s gaze, and tilted her head.

“What?” Shane realized he had been staring at her, a dopey look on his face. He smiled, face turning pink.

“Oh, nothing!” He hopped up into the truck, his wife following suit beside him. He looked at her again. “I’m gonna be a dad.” She smiled now, rolling her eyes.

“You’re gonna be a dad!” Shane laughed, and started the truck. The two chatted excitedly the whole way back, discussing the future addition to both their home and family.

[p---ink]

Teach Me.

Author’s Note: So. I finally made a Peter Parker Fiction. And I know the gif is Arvin Russell, but that is for a reason, and maybe you'll see it, maybe you won't, BUT TELL ME IF YOU DO. So this is an unnamed OC fiction, but its mostly reader insert, aside from the fact that she’s black (surprise, surprise) and she has brown eyes. I made her an “OC” because of that fact. Also, get ready for some fluffy head cannons of Peter P. In the not-so-distant future though. 

Summary: Maybe Peter Parker, isn't as innocent as he seems. 

Warnings: Smut. Smut. and more Smut. Car-smut. Dark-ish Peter (Not really, but he’s not his usual wholesome self) 

Song: Star-gazing by The Neighborhood. I literally based this entire fiction on this one song. Even if you don’t read the fic, you should listen to it. 

Word Count: 5.5k

“If you don’t mind me asking,” She started, pausing a bit to give him time to look up at her, “ who brings a textbook to a frat party?”

His heart stopped for a moment when he realized who was speaking to him. But then he matched her grin shyly and replied, “It’s more of a conversation starter than anything.” 

“Would you say its been working well?”

“I did somehow manage to get someone as pretty as you to speak to me.” 

The smile that was already plastered on her face, grew wider along with her eyes and brows. “Wow Parker: Who knew you could be so bold after a few drinks?

“I’ve only had one, so the rest is all me.” He closed his book and readjusted his leg inviting her to sit. Then as if just realizing, he asked, “You know who I am?”

“Of course I know who you are. We went to Midtown together.” She said, getting comfortable on the couch. 

“Yeah I know. But we barely spoke to each other. Sometimes I wondered if you even knew I existed.”

“I always kept tabs on cuties like you. Especially you, actually.” She declared. 

“And you call me bold.” He muttered under his breath, a small blush creeping up.

“I’m always like this. Anyone who knows me, can tell you that. But anyone who knows you, would say the opposite. You were always so good.” 

“Good?”

“Yes! Good. Innocent. Nice. Whatever floats your boat.”

“And I remember you being, bossy, assertive, and intimidating.”

She threw her head back in laughter before stating,“You say that like its a bad thing.” Coming down from her fits of giggles she adds, “You noticed me, too? Never thought I was on your radar.”

“How could anyone not notice you.” He asked. “We had English together our freshman year. First day of class, you challenged Mr. Frechowsky, for inflicting his political views on the rest of the class. He got so red in the face, after yelling at you for three minutes straight, but everyone was more shocked at you for being unfazed.”

“I forgot abou-”

“Sophomore year, you “accidentally” tripped Amy Shuemacker,  after she made a rude comment about Ned’s weight. Junior year, you announced that you wanted to be not only the first female president, but the first who was black too. I remember telling myself you’d have my vote. Senior year, you almost had a mental breakdown when it looked like Michelle Obama was gonna run.” Peter finished, with not a hint that he was out of breath. 

“I-” She was more than taken aback. “I’m embarrassed that you remember all of that. Its been like four years since we graduated. Frankly any other person would have forgotten.”

“I think its impossible for anyone who’s met you, to forget the day they did.” He admitted to her. 

She just stared at him in awe for a moment. Mouth slightly agape from surprise. A shadow of a smile ever so present. 

Even though he was the one to say it, it was his face that turned a tinge pinker than before when he realized the weight behind his words. He swallowed thickly, averting his attention to the patterns that lined the carpet, fearing that he made her uncomfortable. In all honesty, he used to have a proper crush on the girl, rivaled by even Romeo’s adoration for Juliet.

This was the same girl he once described as ethereal. He once told Ned that fairies wove the strands of her hair, and butterflies still lived there, claiming that he saw them playing beneath her braids. The sun literally lived under her skin, and it was the secret as to why it would glow, and why her smile was so bright. He would swear to anyone that listened, that the harp was made with her voice in mind, and that it, her voice, played a better melody. He used to be lovestruck. Guess those feelings still lingered. 

If you asked him, two minutes ago had he gotten over it, his answer would’ve been yes. Would’ve been. 

His sudden fluster—which she found adorable by the way, broke her from her trance as she grinned and said “Don’t act bashful now!” playfully shoving his arm as she uttered the words. 

Quickly recovering from his earlier hiccup, he slowly returned her grin and tried to retaliate but before he could, “We have to go. Now.”

They looked up to see an irritated looking preppy girl impatiently scowling down at them. She couldn’t have been much older than 21, but no one told that to her clothes and aura. Her olive skin couldn’t hide the frown lines that had been assigned to her, nor the bags that would put a raccoon to shame. Besides the current circumstances that she would tell them in the next minute, Peter could tell on his own that the girl needed a date with sleep. 

“What’s the matter Li? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, aside from the fact that Angie locked herself out of the apartment again.” She said sarcastically, muttering this last part under her breath “I swear I’ve had it with that girl.”

“Ah I see. Well then we better get going.” The girl affirmed, standing from her seat, making Peter rise from his. “Peter it was so nice seeing you. I hate to leave, I would’ve enjoyed catching up a bit more.” She said, turning to grab her coat. 

“Well then we should catch up soon.”

She turned to nod her head, seemingly interested in his suggestion. “I’d love that. When did you have in mind?”

“How about now? if its a ride you’re looking for, I can drive you home.” Peter’s inner sixteen year old self, screamed at this opportunity. Time alone, with his four-year crush? He couldn’t not take advantage of the moment. 

“I couldn’t ask you to do that. It’s all the way on the other side of town.” She informed him. 

“But you’re not asking me to do it. I’m offering, because, ‘ya know; I haven’t seen you in a while and I’d like to catch up, too.” He said, second-guessing himself and praying that he didn’t come on too strong. “Ya know. Only if you want to.” He added just in case. 

Taking too much time debating whether or not she should say yes, the girl’s friend did it for her.  “Sounds great! I’ll see you at home.” Spinning on her heels,  and walking out of the door.

“Well.” The girl started, smiling at her old schoolmate. “I guess that settles it.”

“Shit!” He cursed, killing the engine completely, and slamming his head back on the headrest. After a couple minutes of trying to get it to start, the boy gave up like his car did.

It had been a full three hours since  Alisha left the party. The time was spent competing about who could find out more about the other. He learned that she still had a thirst for changing the world and community around her. She learned that the boy had been bitten by a radioactive spider and was now New York’s most friendly vigilante. She never knew that Peter could be so hilarious. 

They were stranded on some back road, miles away from civilization, with rain coming down on the roof of the car like they owed it money.

“Peter, what did you expect?” She began to question, giggling as she spoke. “This car is so old, Fred Flintstone has a newer model.”

“Hey!” He cried, “Don’t badmouth Karen. She just needs a little work.”

“You mean a lot of work. Karen is ancient.”

“She’s been good to me.”

“Should I call Triple A?” She asked, ignoring his dramatics. “The rain will probably let up by the time they get here.”

“I’ve got this.” He sighed, readying himself to leave the car. “Besides, triple A doesn’t know Karen like I do. They won’t be able to give her the love and patience she deserves” He explained, the car’s rickety door sounding as he disappeared into the rain. 

She heard that same distinct sound not ten seconds later, as he reappeared, soaking wet from the rain’s onslaught. His white t-shirt clung to his body, while beads of water raced down his skin. His messy locks, traded their dark brown hue for a jet black one, and his dirty converses shone a little brighter than they did before he left the car. 

“Maybe that wasn’t the best idea.” He admitted, the leather making a squelching noise as he glued himself back to his previous seat. 

“The offer for triple A still stands.”

“No. I’ll let this play out. But maybe I can call you an Uber.”

“There’s no way I’m leaving you out here all alone. We’ll let this play out.”

“But this may take a while.”

“I’m the reason you’re out here in the first place. And I like your company, so i’ll stay.”

Peter knew he couldn’t argue with that one, so he let silence befall the two of them. It stayed like that for a moment. It wasn’t quite awkward, but it was definitely palpable. 

She thought to say something, he did the same, but neither could quite let their words come to life. It was unlike the girl he knew before, who said the first thing that came to mind. Unlike himself, who did the same, but in a less graceful way. 

Finally, after what felt like hours of deafening quiet, Peter begins with, “How long have you and Brad been a thing?” The question fresh on his mind, since her phone rang yet again, with his ugly mug lighting up the screen. It was the fourth time she ignored the notification. 

It was rare for Peter to hate a person. In fact he didn’t hate many at all. But there was something about Brad that always made his stomach clench. Didn’t help that he was sniffing around his girl. 

“Hmm.” She pondered, tapping her chin with her index finger. Acting as if she was carefully thinking about it.“For about for-never and a day” She finally answered.

“Oh I thought, that since—“ Peter stammered, growing embarrassed by his assumption, and the disdain that coated his words.

“Anyone would have, with him blowing my phone up.” She sighed. “But alas, nothing will ever come of us. No matter how much he wants it to. Wish he’d take a hint.”

Back to silence. But this time it didn’t consume Peter. It gave him a bit of hope, enough hope to ask her his next question. 

“Back at the party,” he started before pausing, which prompted her to question, yes, before he could properly collect his nerve to ask her what he wanted. 

“Back at the party, you mentioned you always kept tabs on me. Especially me. What did you mean by that?”

“I may have had a small crush on you.” She answered without missing a beat. This of course took him by surprise, but not for long. 

“Why did you never act on it?”

“Because I quickly realized you weren’t my type.” She said as if it was nothing in the world.

“Ouch. What did I do to make you realize that?” Peter asked. Though his tone was light-hearted, he tried not to let on that he was hurt. 

“Nothing.” She replied. “You were just yourself. Peter Parker, the innocent good boy who would never harm a fly.”

Peter thought to himself for a moment. He thought long and hard before he decided to bring up the word she had uttered more than once tonight. “There goes that word again: innocent. What makes you think I’m innocent?”

“Come on Parker. Ned told me you once donated a one hundred dollar bill you found lying on the sidewalk to the local homeless shelter. And that was after you couldn’t find its original owner. That’s got innocence written all over it.”

“Does that make me innocent or a good person?”

“They’re one and the same.”

“There is a big difference between the two.”

“I disagree. The two are definitely interchangeable. Good people are the ones who haven’t been corrupted yet.”

“So does that mean you aren’t a good person?”

“I think I’m a neutral person. Not exactly good, not exactly bad. Just walking the tightrope. I probably would have taken the money, and felt bad about it later.”

They both chuckled at her statement, letting it end that segment of the conversation. Though Peter was done fighting with her about her type’s moral compass, he wasn’t done with the subject all together.

“So,” He paused, and she braced herself, taking notice of how every time he did that, a question she was reluctant to answer followed. “what exactly is your type?”

An uncomfortable breathy laugh passed through her lips as she answered. “I didn’t exactly know it at the time, but I’m able to put it into words now.” She admitted, taking her time as she explained. 

“I guess ideally you were my type. Nice. Harmless. Smart. But I was also looking for someone who knew how to take control. I’m in control of everything in my life, so it feels good to meet a person who lets me relinquish that. Or in more crude terms, a person who has the ability to fuck my brains out.” She declared as she leered in his direction with a small smirk playing her lips. 

She was only teasing. But she could feel that the air had grown thick on the side of the car that Peter had resided in. For a split second, she could have sworn that she saw something snap in him. But as quickly as it appeared, it vanished, making her feel as though she had imagined the entire thing. 

But she knew that couldn’t have been right. Known for many things, her vivid imagination wasn’t one of them. His breath hitched. His shoulders tensed. She hadn’t imagined that. What he said next, after what felt like an hour of silence told her that she didn’t imagine anything at all. 

“Did teaching me, ever cross your mind?” He asked. His grip on the steering wheel, turning his knuckles white. She saw his Adam’s apple bob after he spoke, and his chestnut eyes focused on the rain that splattered against the windshield. 

“U-um I-,” She stammered, Peter catching her by surprise. She had to really think about his question. “I suppose it never did.”

“You still want me?” He asked her, turning his attention back on her. 

“Huh?”

“Am I still your type? Aside from the fact that I can’t take control?” 

She just swallows, before nodding.

Noting her surprise, but not relenting he says, “Then teach me.”

“What?” She questions, fearing she misheard him. 

“Teach me.” He repeated, only elaborating when she scrutinized his face. “Show me exactly how you want to be touched. Kissed. Fucked.”

The way he said the word, fuck, was so filthy. It almost made her lose the rest of her composure. Not like she had much left. He had already rendered her speechless, now he was ruining her panties.

No. She wouldn’t let it play out like this. She had a reputation to uphold.

She peered over her shoulder, then back to him trying to assess whether or not he was serious. When his face showed no sign of amusement, she swung her door open, to trade her passenger’s seat for the back one. 

The rain’s onslaught was still vicious, so her previously dry form was borderline drenched. July’s summer heat, did no favors in keeping her warm, and she had no idea if she was shivering from the rain or her nerves. “Are you gonna come keep me warm or what?” She challenged, trying to find her confidence again.  

It was only seconds before Peter joined her, but it was no question that his body was shaking with anticipation. He looked at her expectantly, surveying her every move. From the way her eyes flitted to the ground, to the way her hands busied themselves by rubbing at her thighs. She was nervous. 

It must have been a snowy day in hell.

“What should we do first?” She asked. 

“Does the instructor usually ask the pupil what lessons they should start with?”

“Kiss me?” She suggested, half-ignoring his comment. 

“Are you asking me, or telling me?” Peter remarked, amusement glinting in his eyes. 

Annoyance overtaking her tone now, she demands this time, “Kiss me.” 

“Say please.” He teased. 

“Damn it Peter, fucking kiss m—”

And then he glued his lips to hers. They were sweet and gentle, like him, but still managed to convey his longing. He hoped the kiss would capture all the times he imagined doing it when she would flash those pretty brown eyes his way. When she would speak in a way that put an angel’s timbre to shame. Even when she would fucking breathe, he imagined kissing her until his lips fell off. He hoped the kiss would make up for all of the ones he was dying to share with her over the years.

The pads of his fingers roamed over her silky smooth skin, starting at her cheeks, ending at her neckline. He tasted the flavor of her strawberry chapstick, the same one that made her lips feel and look as smooth as butter. When he inhaled and tasted the faint scent of minty watermelon on her breath, he decided he couldn’t get enough. He wanted to kiss her until he committed to memory every bump on her tongue. Then he would be satisfied. 

“Like this?” He whispered, pulling back to inhale the same air as her, almost turning feral at the sight of her swollen lips and blown pupils. “Or,” he started, leaning back in to go again, searching her eyes, “like this?”

Whereas kiss one was innocent and sweet, the way that Peter portrays himself, kiss two was the definition of what he could be…or maybe what he already was, she couldn’t tell. He was filthy with the way his tongue glided against hers. The hot wet muscle played hers like an instrument, before locking the two together. One of his hands planted itself on the nape of her neck, forcing her to feel every measure against her mouth. She couldn’t move if she wanted to, not that she wanted to. Just like him she wanted to relish the taste of him. 

With his nose pressed against her cheek, and hers against his, they kissed like they wanted to touch the other’s souls. They began breathing in the rest of the other’s air, like they wanted to swap lungs. Exploring the other’s bodies, like they would die if they didn’t study the exact texture of the other’s skin. 

It took everything in Peter to restrain himself. To keep his thumbs from traveling beneath her shirt. He nipped at his tongue to keep from nipping at her lips and skin. He tried shifting in his seat to distract himself from the shifting going on in his jeans. 

It certainly didn’t help the growing tent in his pants when the girl planted her thighs on either side of his, rocking and rolling her hips to alleviate some of the tension in her panties. 

She took over the kiss, setting the pace and overcoming the surprise from Peter earlier.

Her fingers, that were previously glued to his face, began fumbling with the hem of his shirt, peeling the wet material off and over his head. She marveled at his sculpted chest for a moment, before Peter followed suit, pulling her dampened top over her arms and flinging it over the seat. 

A throaty groan passed his lips when she resumed her measures against his hips. Grinding herself down on his hardening member. 

Her breathy whimpers intensified when his surprisingly warm hands traveled along her skin, caressing her soft flesh. She was getting more worked up the more Peter mimicked the movement of her hips, grinding upwards while simultaneously pinning her waist down. 

She tugged harshly on the patch of hair that lived on the back of his neck, eliciting one of the sexiest groans she had ever heard. His heavily lidded eyes that held the same fire as hers, both scared and excited her. 

As she leaned in closely, preparing her words carefully she ordered him to, “Kiss me here,” before planting her lips on his neck. Flattening her tongue to lick a stripe up the exposed skin, she began swirling the appendage before nipping, licking, and sucking until his skin had a reddish purple hue. 

She got lost in the feel of him, succumbing to the sound of his hisses and moans only to yelp a moment later, when Peter mimicked her earlier actions.

With a fistful of her hair, and her exposed neck jutting out towards his lips he licked a stripe against the skin, just as she did earlier, only his measures were steady and calculated, taking note of every flinch and hitch of her breath. He found her sweet spot in seconds, focusing all of his attention there. 

With her nails digging into his flesh, and her hips stuttering, Peter knew he had her where he wanted her. “Like that?” He rasped, pulling away to admire the strings of purple and blue that littered her skin. 

“Fuck yea Parker; you learn fast.” She gasped, attempting at a laugh, as she peeled her chest off of him.  She took a hand of his into hers, grasping two of his fingers as she bought them to her lips. 

Hollowing her cheeks as she sensually sucked and lubricated his digits, she bought his other hand down to her shorts, beckoning him to unbutton them. “Touch me here.” She murmured, eyes taking in the wide curious ones staring back at her. 

With the newly slick fingers, Peter did as she told him, dipping his fingers beneath the waistband of her panties and finding her nub instantaneously. “Right here?” He enquired, when her breathing turned shaky. 

“Mmm, god yes!” She praised, as he worked his fingers over her. 

Setting a consistent pace, Peter lightly grazed her clit, every time he ran his fingers up and down her folds. “Am I doing this right?” He questioned, flicking and teasing her core. 

“Mhm” She mewled, “fuck y-your fingers feel so good” Her speech was now becoming slightly incoherent.

“Yeah?” He groaned, “What about my mouth?” He asked, just before unclasping her bra a little too effortlessly with one hand. Latching his lips against her perky chest, he massaged the other mound with his free hand.  

Words were lost on her, as she became a wanton mess. She couldn’t fathom how he could be so skillful with both hands. How a person could multitask the way that he did was indescribable. His hand on her clit didn’t let up, but neither did the one that tweaked and pulled on her nipple. Not to mention the hot tongue that darted and sucked meticulously at her other. She couldn’t stifle her cries if she tried. 

Riding his fingers, she pressed his head further into her chest,  becoming greedy with his touch, as she sprinted towards her orgasm. She thought that this feeling couldn’t get any better. 

Of course, Peter was full of nothing but surprises tonight, and needed to prove her wrong. He let two of his fingers slip inside of her, while a thumb replaced the ones that were glued to her clit. Rubbing circles against her sex, he pumped the two fingers furiously in and out of her hole. 

“Does that feel good, baby?”

But the girl didn’t answer, Her mouth hung open as if she wanted to, but the words were jumbled somewhere in her throat. Her face twisted into pleasure, and she couldn’t do anything but succumb to his measures against her body.

It wasn’t long before she felt her stomach spasming, the heat pooling to her core, her already sensitive flower growing even more sensitive, as she came into his palm. 

Her juices coated his digits, her walls fluttered around them, and her skin was now hot to the touch, as Peter forced her climax out of her. 

Tears flooded her eyes, as she took in as much air as she could. When had she stopped breathing? Maybe sometime during the earth-shattering orgasm her old classmate was giving her. 

Once the ringing in her ears subsided, and her lower region began to cool again, she thanked the boy and praised him as she said, “You did so well,” before planting hot wet kisses on his shoulder and neck.

She stopped when she felt his body shaking. Coming back up to eye him, she asked what he found so funny. 

Peter tried to hide the smirk that plastered his lips but he couldn’t hold his act any longer. “You just don’t get it do you?” He asks as he casually licks and sucks at his fingers, just as she did earlier, relishing in the taste of her essence. 

The confusion on her face and brain was evident. “Get wha—” He had her pinned on her back, before she could utter the last syllable.

The tight space was cramped, but the boy had more than enough room to stalk his prey. He hovered above her, ridding her of the rest of her clothes in one fell swoop, before delivering his monologue. 

“I don’t know what it is about girls like you, but I swear you drive me crazy.” He admitted, before removing his jeans in a quick motion. “You always assume that just because I’m a nice guy, I won’t be able to fuck your brains out.” He informed, before revealing a hidden condom and rolling it on before lining himself up at her entrance. “But I hope that if tonight proves anything to you,” He starts, eyes finally darting up to land on her horror-filled ones, “it will be that your mindset can land you in a whole heap of trouble.”

And with that, he grasps the door above her head, before sinking himself into her.

Groaning at the feel of her, Peter’s facade dropped completely. Her tight little cunt feels even better than he imagined, and he hopes that he feels better than she ever imagined. 

He starts slow, with the intent of her feeling every ridge of his cock, as it threatens to invade her stomach. Her soft tits bouncing with every thrust, send a jolt through his body every time her nipples graze his chest. The way his name falls off her sweet tongue, has him in shambles, as he picks up his pace, throwing slow and steady out of the window. 

Her cries are loud in his ear, as he ruts against her sex. He’s so thick, its hard for her to think straight. He can feel the indents of her nails as they dig into his lower back; she tries to press his ass closer to her, never wanting him to leave.

Maybe if it were any other guy fucking her, she would have felt the seat buckle digging into her back. Maybe she would have felt her sticky sweaty skin on the leather of his back seat. Maybe the awkward position her head was in would have spoiled her experience. But with Peter, she could only focus on the pleasure. 

His thrusts were relentless now. His hot breath was fanning the side of her cheeks. His previously damp hair, stuck to her neck, as he drove himself further into her skin. Nothing could distract him away from her in this moment.

Nothing but the faint glow of her phone, that is. It’s buzzing, and vibrations immediately catching his eye, as he held his head up. That same dangerous smirk that she saw earlier returning. 

“Look who’s calling, baby.” He purred, overcoming the stutter of his hips. When he held her phone up for her to see, her heart sank at the mischief behind his words. Brad. “Should we answer it?”

“No, Pete!” She cried. 

“Oh come on, that would be rude wouldn’t it?” He dared, before delivering a particularly hard thrust, that sent her mind into a haze. “We can stop so you can take this—”

“No! D-don’t stop” She begged, prying the phone from his fingers, and fumbling with the answer button. 

“Babe? Hello?” Brad’s irritating voice answered flooding, her phone’s speaker. But the girl didn’t answer immediately, because she was too busy trying to stifle her whimpers. 

“Hey Brad!” She finally choked out, sounding somewhat normal. How she managed to do it, she couldn’t say. 

“Wow! Finally. This is like my eighth time trying you. I almost can’t believe you answered. What are you up to?”

“Should you tell him what you’re up to, babe?” Peter devilishly whispered against her skin.

“Nothing!” She whined into the phone. 

“Whoa. Are you okay? You sound a little off?”

“You should tell him you sound like this because I’m making you feel so good.” Peter suggested, driving her body up and down the seats. “I bet he’d wish he were me right now.”

“I-I’m just a feeling a l-li-little sick is all.” She breathlessly stuttered.

“Should I come over?”

“Ah yes Peter!” She wailed, when the boy starts circling his fingers against her clit, while simultaneously grinding slowly but roughly into her. She’s no longer paying attention to the man on the other end. His curses don’t faze her, nor does Peter’s actions as he releases the phone from her grip. 

“Hey Brad. Remember me.” He casually asks, ignoring Brad’s threats. “Yeah no man, don’t worry about her: I’ll make sure she’s real good and taken care of.” He promises, before ending the call, and tossing the device into the passenger’s seat. “Think he finally got the hint?”

Peter then takes the girl’s hips into his hands, lifting her inches off the seat, before pulling her body onto his dick at an ungodly speed.

Crying. She’s literally crying, with tears streaming down her face. Her voice is becoming hoarse with moans. She had never experienced such intense sex in her life. 

Peter brings the hand that was previously plastered on the glass down to the girl’s face. “would this be the definition of fucking your brains out, baby?” He grunts, in reference to the girl’s constant repetition of his name. It’s the only word she can remember, as he fucks her into the chair. 

His movements shook the car. The heat that their bodies radiated, fogging up the glass. The scent of their sex now embedded in the fabric of his seats. The boy was completely untamed. 

Her screams were one among the things that set him off. The way her body writhed against his was another. The stutter in her speech another. But the unbridled lust that her eyes held, was the literal icing on the cake. 

Thank fuck she came before him. Her tight little hole constricting and clenching his dick. And when he started slipping in and out, her eyes glued shut, and her chest started to rise and fall, he knew that she had came. 

A sweaty fucked out mess before him, she needed Peter to finish her off before she was satisfied. “Drown me in your cum” She begged, and it was like he knew exactly what she wanted. 

Unsheathing himself from her, he ridded himself of the condom, and started tugging violently at his cock. Fucking his hand, not unlike the way he fucked her earlier, he spurted his milky white seed all over her supple brown canvas, a husky groan roaring from his chest as he threw his head back in pleasure. His seed extinguished the heat that resided in her skin, and she closed her eyes shut, letting her head fall back down on the seat. 

The image of his white paint, all over her stomach, chest, and tits, bleeding into his memory, as he came back down from his high. 

Once back down to earth, reality began to sink back in. Immediately recomposing himself, Peter blurted, “Fuck are you okay? Was I too rough?”

His sudden outburst almost made her jump out of her skin, but she quickly recovered. “Oh god no Parker! I loved every minute of that.” She lazily smiled reassuringly.  “Do you always fuck like that?”

Peter returned the smirk, blushing before saying, “I’ve always wanted to fuck you like that.” 

After planting a final kiss on her lips, he reached into the center console, to scavenge a few wet wipes, cleaning her skin before discarding them. 

Moments later, they reunited with their lost articles of clothes, pulling the fabrics over their limbs before crawling back into the front seat.

When Peter put his seatbelt back on, and cranked the car up with no effort, he felt the heat of the girl’s eyes on his skin. 

“What?” He asked, dumbfounded by her glare. 

“Was there ever anything wrong with the car?”

And then as if just realizing Peter mouthes oh, before telling her simply “No.” Adding on that he just wanted an excuse to spend more time with her. 

“Well how the fuck did you know I wasn’t gonna just take your offer for an Uber?”  She asked, more impressed than pissed.

“Because you’re a neutral person, and a neutral person would feel too bad about doing that.”

“There’s a lot of things I still have to learn about you Parker.” She admits, sinking down into her seat. Heat rising to her cheeks, as a new crush began to develop. 

“Don’t worry. I’m willing to teach you.” 

 A/N: So like...don’t be afraid to tell me what you think. I swear I dont bite...unless you're into that. also this was edited it, but probably not well, so tell me if you see an error. 

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man.

              ~~~~We might still be in love, if you were a better man. ~~~~

Taehyung x OC 

Rating 18 +

Angst. 

Implied Infidelity in the past. 

Chapter 1 ~ Walk out the first time. 

"Are you okay?" My mother's soft voice came from behind me and i panicked, hurriedly swiping at the tears that were streaking down my face. Heart pounding, I grabbed a bunch of tissues from the dresser, patting my face down hurriedly , making sure to keep my back to her. 

"I'm fine, Mom." I said , voice surprisingly steady as I turned around to smile weakly at her. She stood near the doorway, a petite woman of fifty with greying hair and too many wrinkles. 

I thought she looked older than she was and i knew I had a part to play in that. Sighing, I tried not to cry more, moving to gently take my son out of her arms. 

He was four years old, fast asleep and smiling sweetly in his slumber. He had downy black hair, feather soft and warm brown eyes. He looked incredibly like his father, the resemblance stunning even though he was so young. I stared at him some more, laying him down on the bed and brushing the hair off his face. 

"Are you sure there is no mistake? Taehyung ssi wouldn't hurt us like this..." My mother said, sounding broken and I felt a pang of sympathy. But also annoyance. 

Us. 

Us....like she had an equal share in the hurt I was feeling.

 I was the one getting a  divorce but my mother made it sound like it was personal to her as well. Like somehow, the fact that she now had to meet her friends and tell them that her daughter was divorced could compare to the pain I was feeling. To the sheer anguish that was filling me.

To be fair though, my mother had loved Taehyung very much. Her favorite son-in-law . My sister's husband had been a mean drunkard who had brought a lot of misery to our family. Taehyung by contrast had been a loving, filial son in law. He had cared deeply for my parents, paid for my father's funeral ( even though the man itself was nothing more than a drunk , cheating fool who had abandoned us )  and he had been the most kind man . 

I swallowed. 

Maybe , you should have forgiven him. Maybe , you shouldn't have divorced him . So, he slept with another woman. Fine.  It was one night... just one night. you should have gotten over it! Was it worth it to spend all these countless nights alone? To break your mother's heart a thousand times over? 

 The funny thing was, i had forgiven him. Maybe right after I had found out. He had stood there, looking shell-shocked and horrified and his eyes had begged me for forgiveness and my heart had cracked , the way it always did whenever I saw him in distress. And when he had looked me in the eye and said, "  I’m sorry,  Jang mi..." I had forgiven him right then and there.

 But it was the forgetting that was hard. The fear that it would happen again. The fear that somehow, I was the reason he strayed. And that kind of fear can be debilitating. For the first three weeks, I'd tried to pretend it hadn't happened. I had tried hard to see him the way I had always seen him but it had been impossible. everytime I saw him, my heart had broken anew. It had been hard but I had to accept that things would never be the same. That I would forever look at him and remember what he’d done. That I would forever wonder if he would do it again. 

So we had done the wise thing. 

At first a break.

 A few days apart to get our head on straight.  Then I’d found a job and I had to move closer to the office to make the commute easy. And then suddenly, I wasn’t seeing him even during the weekends , to spend time as family for our son’s sake. And just like that , a whole year had passed and we  were separated. Only meeting to hand Hoshi over to each other. 

"I'm sorry mother." I said softly. I knew that she blamed me, a whole lot for the separation. 

People with children  didn't leave each other over infidelity in my country. You hit your husband, denied him from your bed maybe but you didn't break up a family over one night of bad decisions. You just didn't .

But for me, it was beyond the act. It was the broken trust, the shock of knowing that some other woman had given him something I couldn't, the fact that he had even wanted it from another woman had been enough for me to crumble on the inside.  

But, none of it mattered now. 

He wanted a divorce. Officially. Wanted to end it for real. 

It was jarring, how badly it shook me. I felt unaccountably lost and confused and disoriented. I couldn't imagine not being Taehyung’s wife , i realized with a stunning sense of self realization.

 Call me irrational, but apparently, I couldn't stop thinking of him as my husband , even after two years. Soon he wouldn't be my husband. 

He would be  my ex -husband. 

i hated that word. 

It had such a plethora of negative connotations to it. When you hear it , you just brace yourself for unpleasantness.

 Because it is unpleasant. A marriage ending, a family breaking, feelings hurt , hearts shattered,  angry words tossed...its all a very unpleasant experience for everyone involved. 

An ex husband was seldom a harbinger of happiness, more often a reminder of choices gone wrong, regrets and wasted time. and I didn’t want to associate Taehyung with a word like that.

Taehyung who was still the kindest, warmest human being I knew. The best father in the world. 

I felt like someone had sucked all the strength out of me.

I didn’t really want to think about the call I’d gotten from Taehyung last night. An appointment with a divorce lawyer.  It had been followed by an apology because apparently, someone in the law firm had let the info leak. And now it was all over the sleazy tabloids that fed on people’s misery. 

It was impossible to escape it too, Taehyung was famous. An idol. And actor. The country's sweetheart. And he was the epitome of perfection. The beautiful, talented actor with an impeccable record of well behavior. 

I knew that literally everyone on the planet thought he was a literal angel. 

 I remembered how much , by contrast, I had been hated when I'd married him.

I could just imagine how much more it would all be this time around. And i wondered if it bothered Taehyung too. Did he perhaps wish he’d never met me

? 

It had been sheer luck that we had met.... 

In fact, if Jimin's  car hadn't broken down right outside our home on that cold December night, I wouldn't have even met Taehyung. A great cosmic shift, somewhere some butterfly flapped its wing a certain way and suddenly, Jimin’s car ran over a thumbtack and his phone was dead so while he tried to fix the damage , Taehyung  just had to knock on our home and I had been the one to open it. 

Boom. That was it. Love at first sight. 

 I had been a high school kid and he had been barely nineteen. Fresh faced and cheerful , the struggling idol from a small company. He hadn't been surrounded by fans or chased by saesangs. He hadn't had security tailing him. No daesangs, BBMAs, or acting awards. No blockbuster movies to his credit , no chart-bursting songs either . 

And I had fallen in love with that version of him. 

The hardworking, talented young man who worked twice as hard as anyone around him. 

 That's right. You've loved him for fifteen years.  So it's understandable that you're upset. Now, maybe you can move on too. Go on a few of those blind dates that Jiyoung is always setting you up on. Go live your life instead of being a zombie. Get a hair cut. Dye your hair red. Do something to get your life in order. 

"I still find it hard to believe that he would want a divorce. Jangmi yah... did you tell him you forgave him? Tell him you wanted to try again..." My mother said again and the distress in her voice was equal parts heartbreaking and exasperating. 

"Mother, I don't want to try again . We aren't married anymore. It's over, whatever it was between us. " 

 Whatever it was. 

How cruel, to have all that love, all that affection  reduced to a phrase like that. 

What a pity. 

"But what about Hoshi? He needs his father..." My mother cried out and I willed myself not to snap. She means well, I thought miserably. 

"He has a father. Taehyung is an excellent father and you know that. Don’t start that again.” 

My mother sighed.

"I still feel that this wouldn’t happen if you tried a little bit. He’s a good boy. Such a good boy and you could never do anyone better. Why are you so full of pride, Jangmi... so prideful...you should be a little humble. Think of the kind of man he is...where would you find a man like that ? And moreover .... Taehyung loves you. i know he does." My mother said stubbornly. 

I sighed, feeling my fingers shake from the effort not to scream. I wasn’t strong enough to have this conversation with her. Not now. Possibly never. Taehyung did  love me. Had never made any effort to hide it. But sometimes, love wasn’t enough. It just wasn’t. 

And I wanted to yell at my mother she was at least partially to blame for me walking out on Taehyung. 

My father had left us for another woman , when I was twelve. I had seen the toll it had taken on my mother and I just knew that I would never let a man do that to me. My mother had later confided in me that it wasn’t the first time. He had done it before. A lot of times. And my mother had always forgiven him. Let him back into our lives. 

And one night, drunk on soju she had confided between hiccups, ‘ I wish I’d walked out the first time.” 

And that had stuck with me. 

Walk out the first time. 

If he cheats on you , walk out the first time. Don’t stick around waiting for him to do it to you again. Walk out the first time. 

 And so I had. 

“ Should I talk to him? Tell him you’ve changed your mind? “ My mother began and I felt my patience snap.

“No!! Could you just, for the love of God, stay out of this, ma? It’s over. Our marriage is over and it has been over for a long time. A piece of paper doesn’t really change that, does it? Its not my fault you can’t get over it but that’s a you problem. And you need to fix it yourself.  “ I shouted. 

My mother immediately recoiled, eyes shuttering down. 

“Of course. You know the best. Who cares how anyone else feels, right, Jang Mi? You always know best.” She said softly, and I exhaled, shaken. There it was. The guilt trip. It was never ending. 

Please... I just need to go now.” I moved to grab my bag, :” I need to go get ready for the meeting with the lawyers tomorrow. You can keep Hoshi with you tonight.  I’ll come pick him up after I’m done and then I’ll drop him off at his father’s place.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With Taehyung and I, our break up hadn’t been terrible. 

It hadn’t been terrible because our own penchant for being terrible had always been very minimal. We didn’t do swearing or fights or threats and it always annoyed our friends that we got along so well. That it was so easy for us to forgive and move on with each other . That we were the one couple who didn’t hold grudges or bring up past mistakes. 

Which is why, when we did break up, none of our friends had tried to change our minds over it. They had accepted it rather calmly, shocked at first because it was so out of the blue but not opposed to the idea itself . They just trusted us to know the right thing to do because we were easily the most mature , the most level headed couple in the entire group. We were usually the sounding boards , the voice of reason in whatever petty conflict our friends were involved in . 

So when it was us, needling a little advice, a little guidance, our friends had been woefully ill equipped to help. They had merely hummed and nodded and empathized. Maybe that was another reason I’d left. I hadn’t considered the alternative. No one had asked me to consider the alternative. 

Our friends had watched us drift apart watched us break up, but they hadn’t really asked us  why.  

Because if something had caused Kim Taehyung and Jang Mi to break up, man, that must’ve been a really huge issue. 

So the break up had been amicable. Gradual and slow but mostly amicable, eased by our mutual love for our son. We wanted him happy and he was happy when we were happy. So we put on a front, laughed and joked in front of him and let him have some semblance of normalcy in his life. 

It wasn’t easy. 

From him,  it had been nothing but a mess of   heated glances, touches laced with intent and eyes begging forgiveness . every gaze of his was a silent scream for a second chance that I was not at all ready to give. 

Because for me, the raw hurt and anger and frustration that bubbled up every time I saw him , it had nowhere to go. It stayed churning in my gut, made everything bitter and unpalatable and I wanted to hurt him for hurting me. How could I think of a second chance when the hurt from the first, was still so fresh, an open wound festering. 

Self esteem in tatters, I had hated him fiercely. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meeting was at his company, and I arrived at nine in the morning, with a few more minutes to spare.  I knew the place like the back of my hand, was here at least  once a week either to pick or drop Hoshi off and I knew that the conference room in the third floor was sound proof and cut off from the rest of the building for extra privacy. 

Which was a little too late because I’d found two tabloid newspapers waiting outside my apartment this morning. 

I opened the door carefully, surprised to see Taehyung sitting in one of the chairs, bent over a sheaf of paper on the table and next to him a leggy girl in a small skirt hovered, fingers resting lightly on his shoulder, bent at the optimum angle to show him her curves. 

I sighed, looking away.

It was way too early for this. 

“Mia!” Taehyung’s voice made me look up, and I watched as he stood up, pushing the chair away and moving to me . He was easily the most good looking man in the country. And he looked so good at thirty five that it was impossible to look away from him. 

He was dressed in a pale blue shirt and black slacks and it never amazed me, how good clothes fit him. 

I took in the broad shoulders, thick arms and the lean waist, the carefully styled hair and the breathtakingly beautiful face and sighed when he kept coming closer, hands held out. . 

Of course, the customary hug. 

i let him wrap his arms around me, my face buried in the comforting warmth of his body, the scent of his cologne filling my brain . He always smelled so good it made my heart hurt. I tried not to let myself get carried away. Tried to remind myself that this wasn’t anything more than a.....

A facade ? Or was it? Was his affection genuine? 

Was I just too cynical?

I shook my head, pulling away and smiling a little at the genuine venom in the leggy girl’s face. 

“Are you okay? Where’s Hoshi?” Taehyung brushed the hair off my face, eyes warm and I wondered if he’d forgotten we were here to get a divorce.

 Whenever we met, Taehyung acted like we were still together. 

No, that wasn’t it. 

He just didn’t act like we had broken up. He was affectionate and open and cooperative. It always left me in a sort of limbo, unable to navigate our relationship with clear boundaries. There were no line to stop myself from crossing, because he just didn’t draw them. 

“ Ms. Lee says we just have to go over the details like the alimony and the custody and the division of assets and then we can just proceed. Get it all finalized.  “ He said casually, when I moved away and sat on the chair opposite him. 

“Okay .” I said casually. 

He smiled and turned back to the girl next to him.

“I’ll join you after the meeting Lisa.” he gave her a nice wide smile and the girl practically bloomed under the attention before bowing curtly in my direction. I watched her walk away, slightly amused.

“Bit younger than your usual type.” I commented , glancing at him. He gave me a look.

“I’m not dating her.” He shrugged. 

“Does she know that?” I retorted.

 It was dumb. Uncalled for. I was being a bitch, really but the urge to evoke some kind of reaction from Taehyung was something I’d never really out grown. I liked getting under his skin.

Taehyung sighed and gave me a little smirk.

“Are you jealous, Mia mine?” He teased. 

It felt a little like someone had dug a nine inch dagger straight  into my heart. 

That stupid nickname. 

God I couldn’t bear it. 

Swallowing i looked away. 

“Sorry. “ he said quietly, a few seconds later. 

I nodded curtly. 

“Don’t do it again.” I said hoarsely. 

“Why not?” He whispered gently. 

I groaned. 

“Taehyung... “

“it’s just a name...why does it bother you so much?” He whispered. 

“The same reason you’re asking me for a divorce.” I said softly.

He blinked.

“Mia...”

“Because we both know its time to stop.” I said quietly. “ Stop dancing around each other , stop doing...whatever it is we’ve been doing these past two years and give our relationship a name. “ 

“I’m not very fond of labels.” He shrugged. I glared at him. 

“Well tough luck. Labels are good. Labels are great. They let you draw boundaries. “ I retorted. 

“You sound like you’ve had enough of me.”

“Well, haven’t you had enough of me?” I snapped.

“Not even close.” He leaned forward gently, eyes pinning me to the table with a gaze so strong he may as well have used his body. And it didn’t help that two years wasn’t enough time to forget how it would feel if he  had  used his body. How it would feel to be stretched out on that table, him on top of me, hands working my clothes open, lips kissing their way down my jaw. 

I could almost taste him, taste the minty freshness of his breath, feel his tongue in my mouth, the hardness of him inside me. My thighs clenched because I hadn’t gotten laid in two fucking years and even if i did, no one would ever compare to the man in front of me. 

“Mr. Kim? Mrs. Kim? “ 

The lawyer’s voice broke the spell and i straightened, swallowing. Ms. Lee had walked in , and I watched her close the conference door behind her before locking it gently. 

She was young, dressed in a business suit , a no nonsense bun and had small round framed glasses. She gave me a nice smile, shook hands with us both and placed her briefcase on the table before glancing between us. 

“Shall we begin?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : its gonna be a bumpy ride.